Is this how it ends? (Negovanman)

Chapter 1: Good bye

„Silas University in picturesque Styria, where nothing, not even the homecoming goat sacrifice disturbs the pursuit of knowledge. But under the surface of this placid institute of higher learning you'll find mystery after mystery. Just last week students using the catalog reported a search window claiming it was lost, begging for help to find Dudley Chapel, wich burnt down in 1904. So, harmless prank or terrifying mystery waiting..."

Those three and a half sentences were the beginning. The beginning of a great experience that literally changed my life. I could've never imagined being part of something that is so small and intimate and at the same time something that is so important and big. When I said those lines, my first lines as Laura Hollis, I had no idea that the little web series „Carmilla" would ever have such a huge and incredible fanbase. Nobody knew at that moment that we were about to film three seasons. I mean sure it felt kind of special. All in all being together with the cast felt amazing. And now, almost two years after we filmed the very first episode, I'm about to say my very last line as Laura Hollis.

„See you around, sis" That was my entry. I startet coughing softly, getting louder.

„Like..." I coughed again. I heard Natasha running towards me. I felt her warm hand touching my shoulder.

„Like I always wanted to go to Paris. Or London." Her hands were holding my head now gently and I saw her tear stained eyes beaming with joy at my face.

„Or... Or just the world, I just wanted to travel..." While saying my line I was interrupted by Natasha, putting her mouth on mine and pulling me close to her. After we broke the kiss I slowly opened my eyes to see her beautiful dark eyes connecting with mine. I wanted to enjoy that moment for a little longer but I knew that Laura Hollis wouldn't.

„Don't take this the wrong way or anything but why am I not dead?" With pain I cut the connection of our eyes and looked down on her, laying my hand on her chest.

„And, do you have a heartbeat?" Finally I got to look back into her brown eyes seeing them getting smaller while smiling. Again Natasha as Carmilla pulled me closer and kissed me aka Laura. After the kiss, our lips were still really close, I felt her breath, slowly stroking my lips. And again we pulled closer, feeling the magic of Laura and Carmilla kissing when we heard a loud „Cut. We got it!" from our director Spencer. We ended the kiss letting our foreheads rest against each other.

„So that was it hugh?" I whispered.

„I guess it was." I could see Natasha having pain saying that. It was that small tear running down her cheek that started making me cry. We both rapped our arms around each other, resting like this for a really long time. While everyone was rushing around us, Natasha whispered „I will miss you Cupcake". I started crying even more, pulling her so close that I could clearly feel her calming heartbeat against my chest.

After a lot of crying and hugging everyone left except for me and Natasha, sitting face to face on the mattress in our set's wardrobe petting each others feet.

„Natasha?" My costar's, still red from all the crying, eyes gave me a deep look making me continue talking.

„Can we like, just for tonight, pretend to be Laura and Carmilla again? I just can't let go yet."

Without making any noises, Natasha stood up, went to the small sound system in the corner of the room and connected it to her phone. A slow song started to play. She came to me and took my hand, making me stand in front of her. She grabbed my hip, pulling me closer to her, leading me to dance with her. After doing that typical Carmilla and Elise turn we learned on the show she pulled me even closer, making me look into her beautiful brown eyes. I wrapped my arms around Natasha neck making our forehead resting against each other. With tightening her arms around my back she made the space between our bodies disappear completely. Our heads were both laying on each others shoulder now as we slowly danced and listened to our steady breaths. I can't remember a lot of moments in my life that made me feel so calm and comfortable like this one. When the song ended we broke the contact of our bodies.

„Do you want a drink?" Natasha gave me that questioning view with her famous smirk, as if she already knew my answer. Just when I began to nod my head yes, she turned around and went right into the kitchen of our set. Obviously knowing what she was looking for when she opened the fringe, taking a big bottle of white whine out of it. She also took two whine-glasses that were in one of the cupboards. I seriously had no idea we even had whine glasses on set. Natasha made me follow her to the library stage, where we shot pretty much every scene of season three. As soon as we got there my Costar started to move the two armchairs closer. Just a moment later we sat face to face in those chairs with glasses of white whine in our hands.

„Well..." Natasha grinned, starting to talk as Carmilla. „...Laura..." Her eyebrows moved up a bit, making her smile seem even bigger.

„Now we have something really unusual in common." It was probably my confused face that made her laugh while having a sip of her whine.

„We both were dead once?" As if that was the most obvious answer ever she gave me that Carmilla smirk I adored so much. It wasn't just a Carmilla smirk it was Natasha's way to connect herself with her character.

„Oh... but I haven't been dead for for more then three centuries." I said, picking on her.

„Does that make you more alive?" Obviously amused about our little role play Natasha continued to act pretty much like Carmilla.

„I guess so. But, lucky you, I don't care about that."

„Really?" Natasha put her glass to the ground, stood up and walked right to me. She bent forward, letting her hands rest on my thighs. I could feel her breath touching my skin softly. I could feel how she was burying her fingers into my pants and I could feel how her eyes made me fall right into them.

„Then what do you care about?" At that moment I wasn't sure if I was supposed to answer as Elise or as Laura. After having a little brainstorming I decided to answer as Laura.

„How about you being fine? Or you being here with me? I guess pretty much everything that includes you being safe." Natasha smiled and pulled me into a hug. It felt so comfortable and warm that I suddenly felt tiredness coming up. I couldn't stifle a yawn when Natasha ended the hug.

„Wanna go to sleep now?" I felt how it got harder to keep my eyes open as I nodded. We went back to the wardrobe and I made ,y way directly to the mattress in the corner. I didn't care about wearing a blouse but obviously Natasha did. She threw a giant hoodie to me before getting out with some clothes herself. I slowly changed into wearing nothin but some panties and that hoodie, still being really tired. I could tell by the smell of the hoodie that it was one of those clothes, Natasha brought to set to feel comfy whenever she wants to. As soon as I was ready, Natasha came in, wearing a really tight but stretchy looking shirt and some jogging pants. On her way to me she grabbed a blanked that she placed over our bodies as soon as we both laid down.