Is this how it ends? (Negovanman)

Chapter 5: surprise

Do you know that feeling, when your'e alone and you feel like nobody cares about you? As if the world wouldn't change a bit if you were gone?

That is exactly how I felt for a few days. I was laying in my bed, snuggling up into Charlie, and feeling lonely. My dog must have noticed that I felt bad because he was much more kind then usual. I also noticed the way he was looking at me with his big brown eyes. My days were full filled with sleeping, eating and reading every ‚Negovanman' fan fiction I could find. I went to work that Monday to record kindatv news and took the two following days off. I wasn't ill but I felt terrible.

The morning after the party was confusing. Kaitlyn wasn't at home and Elise had already left. I had no clue where she was or why she was gone. Since then she would neither answer my calls nor text me back. And when I was standing in front of her apartment, she wouldn't open the door.

On Wednesday I got a call from the ‚Carmilla' producer Steph. I was laying on my couch, reading the newest chapter of ‚Not Just Acting' as my phone started to ring.

„Hello?"

„Hey there, it's Steph!" I had to smile as I was hearing her soft voice. She was such a kind and creative person, it was awesome to talk to her. I asked for the reason of her call and her warm laugh appeared out of my iPhone.

„We have a surprise for you tomorrow. I just wanted to make sure that you're coming." I could hear, from the way she talked that Steph was smiling.

„Well if you say it like that, I consider showing up tomorrow."

„Be there at ten", she said and added a short „See you tomorrow" as a good bye before she hung up. As I looked up, I saw my dog giving me a suspicious look.

„Oh come on! Elise won't be there right? I don't have anything to worry about!" Charlie barked and bounced into the kitchen. I don't think that he knew, but I did, that I was someone who would always run away from problems. Avoiding was my specialty.

Knowing that I had to show up at work the next day got me really stressed thought. I decided to take a bath in order to feel better.

The next day, I woke up feeling good for the first time since the last Friday evening. I brushed my teeth, got into something comfortable that was also appropriate for work and left the apartment, taking Charlie with me. After a five minute ride I parked my car in front of the ‚smokebomb' building. Getting a parking spot near the entrance was practically impossible but I made it. My watch was telling me that I was early so I got into the building and made myself a coffee in the kitchen. As usual I allowed Charlie to run around office, because he was allowed to. The kitchen was inside of a recycled container that was in a big room, what is pretty cool if you ask me. I was about to go to the place where Steph worked when somebody yelled my name. I turned around and saw Steph standing besides a big table in another recycled container. Next to her was Jordan, the ‚Carmilla' writer, trying to hide a big smile. It was a minute before ten am, what was strange because both of them were usually at least two minutes late. That big smile on both of their faces wouldn't disappear after we greeted.

„Okay tell me. What is it?" Steph tried to make a serious face as she said „We can't tell you yet."


„Why not?" I asked, becoming even more curious. Jordan was just about to tell me why when she was interrupted by a breathless Elise Bauman.

„I'm so sorry I'm late", she took a little break to breathe, „but there was this little boy that was searching for his mom and..."

Jordan laughed „It's okay Elise."

There was one moment, when Elise noticed me standing there with my cup of coffee. Her facial expressions dropped and her eyes widened. It was a weird situation after all.

„Can we start." I knew that I was obviously trying to elude that moment and the three other women noticed as well.

With a questioning glance in my direction Steph indicated us to sit down.

„As you might know, Dillon is almost done with editing the first one-third of the season and we are planning on how to publish the episodes. We already talked to you about uploading them as three acts right?" Both, Elise and I, nodded.

I threw in „Carmilla Season three and chill", making them laugh.

„Right" Steph laughed.

„We are going to make live-streams, arranged kind of like a talk show with hosts and everything, where you two are reacting live to the first two or three episodes." Again we nodded, to show that we were in.

„Who will host it?" Elise asked.

„Two women both of you know very well." Jordan said smiling.

„Adrianna and Sarah" I had to grin. Both of them were so nice and fun and they were really into Carmilla.

„But there is a more important thing we wanted to tell you guys." Steph turned around to the place where a few people, including me, were having their workplace. She shouted for Spencer who made his way towards our table.

„Would you like to tell them?" His eyes widened and he nodded in agreement.

„We.", the angles of his mouth were literally touching his ears as he continued talking really slow.

„are."

„going."

„to make."

He made a really long break, like one of those casting show moderators did when they announced the winner.

„Carmilla the movie!" It took me a moment to realize what he had said. When I did I couldn't help but be happy. I hugged the next person I could, who happened to be Elise. She didn't hold me quite as tight as she usually did and I could feel something getting awkward between the two of us. When I pulled away she mumbled towards Steph, Jordan and Spencer „That's amazing" and made her way out of the shipping container.

„What was that?" Jordan asked, the shock being written on her face.

„I'm gonna..." I pointed at the spot where I saw Elise last and went into that direction.

I found her in the women's toilet, sitting on the sink. Crying.

„Hey what's wrong." I said, trying to comfort her. Her big brown eyes met mine.

„I don't know."

„Why didn't you answer my calls?"

„Because of you."

„What are you talking about? Did I say anything wrong. Or did I do anything wrong?"

„Wait, you don't remember?" Elise had finally stopped crying.

„Remember what? What did I do after we opened that bottle of whine?" The beautiful blonde girl was starring at the floor, refusing to answer me.

„Come on Elise.", I said, grabbing her hands.

„It wasn't you. It was me. I did something and I don't know what to think about it. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it or how I'm supposed to act around you. You mean the world to me but I don't know how to interpret this!" Elise's voice had become louder and her face was filled with pain.


„What Elise? I can't help you if you keep avoiding to tell me what happened!"

„I'm sorry but I can't." I heard how her breath became steady again. It was probably some yoga ‚trick' that made her calm down. She grabbed my hands, making me calm down as well. „At least not yet."

Sadness hit me, knowing that she would be keeping a secret from me.

„When will you be ready to tell me?" Damn that was a dumb question. How should she be able to tell me something she didn't know yet. But my co-start reacted the best way possible.

„I'll let you know."