I Thought You Were Different: Part 3

Nightmares

Double update day, I guess.  If you've been following me for a while, you might recognize a part of this from another story.

"Don't make me do this, you know I don't want to. Look at them," Steve hissed, grabbing Anthony's tiny face, full of tears, and turning it sharply to face you, "look at your son, (Y/N). Don't make me do this."

"Steve," you sobbed, dropping to your knees, "I told you, you can do whatever you want to me, just let them go."

"I told you what you have to do. If you don't join with us, then none of you are going to make it out of here. Just give in, (Y/N). It's easy. I didn't think that it would be, but I see everything so much clearer now." He grabbed Grant next, eliciting a pained squeal from the little boy as his nails dug into the soft flesh of his arm, "how can you just sit there and listen to your own children crying for you? How heartless can you be? You don't deserve to be their mother."

"I don't," you agreed in a whimper, "I don't, you're right. Please, Steve, just stop."

He released Grant and set him aside, stepping forward until he was standing over you, looking down at you with black eyes and a set jaw; he was cold and emotionless towards you, as if he had never felt anything for you at all. You could reach out and touch him for how close he was, but you could never connect with him now.

"Say it, (Y/N). Don't listen to that goddamn Stark blood running through your veins, and say it." He bent down close and grabbed your chin, thrusting your head up sharply to face a snarl that send a cold shiver down your spine. His voice lowered to a sinister whisper as he spoke, and nothing in its tone sounded like the Steve Rogers that you had once loved. "Say it like you mean it."

"Hail Hydra," you mumbled, trying to pull away but failing.

"I didn't hear you...doll."

Allowing your anger to finally build, you closed your eyes and gathered your strength. When you opened them again with a renewed energy, you looked one last time at the three babies that you might never see again. You were doing this to save them, but you pushed the love for them away and accepted your fate, yanking your face from Steve's grasp. He could feel the shift in you and smiled now, taking a step back with a pride in his work as you finally gave him what he wanted.

"Hail Hydra."

When your eyes shot open from your restless sleep that had been halted by the worst nightmare you had ever experienced, you rolled over to look at the sleeping super soldier at your side and immediately froze. "Oh my god," you whispered to yourself, completely in disbelief that your mind would take you to such a terrible place, but it felt so real that you couldn't shake the terror that was gripping you.

"Hey," Steve mumbled as woke at the sound of your voice, bolting upright to startled alertness at the sight of you and the look in your eyes. "Woah, (Y/N), what's wrong?" he asked nervously, reaching out for your arm but stopping at your recoil.

"Don't touch me."

"(Y/N), what happened?" he asked, trying again to reach out but getting the same result.

"I said don't touch me," you snapped, bringing your arms tightly in and pushing yourself out of bed. "Just stay away."

Steve sat perfectly still with his hands up in his defense, trying to gain your trust that he wouldn't go against your wishes, cautiously halted by the panic he was seeing in you. Your body was still shaking in fear and your eyes filled with tears as you stared at him, as if you were a frightened animal waiting for him to pounce. He feared what you could have seen in your nightmare to terrify you this much, and he was too afraid to ask.