only us // sdmn

×twenty×

''Dear Josh...'' Simon mumbles to himself, fiddling with his fingers and staring towards the ground, at his crossed legs.

''Dear Josh....'' He repeats again, picking at pieces of dead grass beside him.

''Why is this so difficult? Why are you so difficult, Josh?'' He asks, speaking to himself and he buries his head in his arms, leaning on his knees.

It was near enough midnight and Simon was alone in the park.
He'd had enough of staying inside all of the time. He needed fresh air otherwise he would've gone insane.

The wind blew gently, but it was bitter and cold. The grass was dimly lit by the street lamps, but Simon liked it this way.
Nobody would ask what's wrong.
Nobody would know he was here.
And that's the way he liked it.

''I miss you.'' He whispers, looking up towards the stars.
He lays back so he's facing up towards the sky.

''I wish I could make everything better again. I have made the biggest mistakes of my life, and that's this is my punishment.'' He goes on.

''Ethan, Tobi, Vik and Harry. I know you're all up there. Together and happy. Just like we all used to be.''

His vision becomes blurry as he sits up and pulls the sleeve of his grey sdmn tracksuit jacket, wiping the tears from his eyes.

The SDMN logo on the jacket was faded, and barely visible anymore. But he still kept it.
He still wore it.
For one reason,

It used to be Josh's.

He couldn't help but let the tears slide down his cheek, and fall into the grass next to him.

''I can't take this.'' He mumbles and sighs.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a slowly walking figure, and rubs the tears from his eyes to get a better view.
The figure looked oddly familiar.

Then he saw his face.

×

Josh slows down his walking pace and stops beside a river. He leans against the fencing and looks at the reflection of the stars shimmering in the water.

''I miss you.'' He whispers.

''What's it like up there? Is it peaceful? Are you happy? Is everything normal again?'' He asks to them, looking up.

''I wonder what it's really like.'' He says before continuing to walk again. At a slower pace.

He stares ahead as he feels his eyes sting, and tears slowly start to dribble down his face.

He pulls down the sleeve of his SDMN hoodie and rubs his eyes, wiping away the tears.
The letters were fading, and there was practically nothing there anymore, but he couldn't care less.

He only wore it for one reason.

It used to be Simon's.

He walked past the same park he'd usually go to when he felt sad. Nobody ever went here, so it was a quiet place that he would go to.

But someone was there. Sat on the grass.

He couldn't exactly make out the person's face, and rubbed his eyes to see if he could see them better.

They started staring right towards him, and that's when he knew who it was.

×

The figure was staring at Simon. He stared right back.

He knew exactly who he was looking at, and his heartbeat quickly sped up.

''Josh?'' He whispered quietly, almost inaudible.

He scanned the person's face, just to make sure.
Dark hair,
Dark eyes,
A beard.

It was exactly the right person.

Simon gasped and jumped up, running as fast as he could towards him.

Josh knew who he was staring at.
He began running towards him, so they would meet in the middle.

His eyes sting with tears again and he didn't bother to wipe them.

As they finally met in the middle, Simon threw his arms around the boy's shoulders as he jumped up, hooking his own legs around Josh's, while his arms were around Simon's waist, Josh leant his head against the taller boys shoulder.

Simon broke down into weak and quiet whimpers and cries, and the tears soaked through Josh's hoodie.

He tightened his arms around Simon's waist, pulling him closer as he sobbed into his shoulder.

Not being able to hold the weight, Josh stumbled backwards, making them both fall onto the grass.
Simon had landed on his lap, but refused to move his legs or his arms from around him.

''J-Josh..'' Simon stuttered.

''Simon..'' He whispered.

They sat in silence, not moving a muscle, and the only sound that could be heard was the sound of their sobs.

''I missed you. I-I missed you so fucking much...'' Simon said to him.

''I missed you t-too, Simon..'' Josh replied.

''P-Please don't leave me a-again.'' He pleaded, lifting his head to look at Josh.

''It's only us, Si, it's only us.''