Melia-Irrevocable Journey (Sequel to Irrevocable Quest)

058:

058:

Tracy came into the room, helping 'little one' who was barely walking, and holding a hot dog... Melia's eyes riveted on Hannah, and Robert had time to adjust himself away from her, still holding the baby. He settled back on the bed, and noticed that his brother-in-law and sister were there as well.

"Ho, Ho! Here's where we find you! With the newest member of the Patrick family!" Doug chortled, and Melia had time to smile appreciatively, and watch as both Doug and Kathy, whom she had met at the funeral, looked at her newest child.

"Aw, Robbie, let me hold her!" Kathy crooned and Robert reluctantly allowed his sister to hold the infant, giving Melia an apologetic glance, which she managed not to turn red under. Kathy was short and plump, in her late thirties, with blondish dyed hair and a faintly upturned nose. Her eyes were the only thing that reminded anyone of her famous brother. They were dark and thickly fringed, and crinkled good-naturedly at the corners, giving her that same air of compassion, and alleviating the chiseled good looks. She sat on the edge of the bed with her husband Doug beside her, both looking in fascination at the baby.

"We can't have kids, you know." Doug told the room at large. "But I've been talking with Tracy, here, and she's been telling me about her work at the adoption agency, and we kind of like this idea." Which brought on a lengthy discussion about adoptions and babies in general. Hannah wanted her mother, and crawled into Melia's lap to play and snuggle, and Melia stroked her hair gently, taking away the hot dog-- she really didn't want her to choke on it-- whispering quiet nonsense to her as she held her toys for her mother to see. When she glanced up, Robert's eyes met hers. They never faltered. He held her curious stare dramatically. She knew they two had more to share than this moment.

*****

Doug and Kathy took Tracy up on a trip down the coast into Avalon for shopping, and Robert decided to tour the grounds while Melia and the babies napped. The air was balmy and peaceful, the sound of waves and water sloshing around below them a surcease to her befuddled spirit. Melia dozed, feeling exhausted without having done anything and remembered after Hannah had been born a much more exuberant energy. Now she felt tired and worn out. She assumed this was due to nursing two babies, and trying to take care of them as well. Even with her mother's help it still fell mostly on her shoulders, as it should, she reminded herself without rancor. She wanted to care for her own children, she needed to. She had the responsibility and she loved them so much more than she ever thought was possible.

But she also felt cramped, lying on her side on the bed, her insides at war with her outsides. She tried to analyze it. One arm up, above her head, curling around the pillow as she nursed Abby, the other reaching slightly over Abby to twirl Hannah's blonde curls with one finger. She felt slightly tied down, and not resentful, just befuddled.

That was the word. Just like bewildered had been the word a while ago, now befuddled felt right. She could hear sea gulls outside, the sound of the palm trees rustling. That was peaceful.

But inside her there was a black noise that seemed as if it were a storm screeching against rocks or something.

Ryan had called. He wasn't coming out today, in fact, he told her he wasn't coming out at all. He didn't think he could stand to be at her Catalina home, the home she had shared with his brother, the home his brother had died in. Not just because of those reasons, but because it felt too painful. He said he hadn't dealt with Jared's death. He had an audition, and had gone to New York.

Inside, Melia felt fragmented, enraged at his lack of concern for her. She wanted to throw in the towel, let it be over, file for an annulment, call her lawyer immediately. Outside she didn't know what to do. She felt a queer sense of hanging on, as if she were responsible for his actions, and his own confusion, and she had to rectify the situation by staying married to him. He had indicated that staying married was his plan.