Her Fixable Heart

Try Again.

Hi y'all (: so this chappie is just filler, no drama in this one but it will come soon!! Now I know your wondering why I said y'all. Or at least now you are: P Weeell I am giving you a hint of an upcoming book that I have been writing for some time now (=! It won't come out till March 12th though but if you're lucky I shall give you a sneak peek. Try checking out A Faeries Wing also! And with that I give you....

Try Again.

'I can't anymore, it's too hard' I cried while heaving out breaths and Sarah frowned, 'Come on Dee, Please just try some more, you've gotten really good these past weeks. You just need to remember why you are doing this'

My eyes brow creased together and I lifted my fat body of the cold ground. It was 2:30am and we have snuck out for a jog before had to get my medication. So we are now jogging in pitch black around the huge park. Her red hair was thrown up in a messy bun and she had a black workout suit on.

I was keeping a slow pace and my legs and back had never hurt this bad, even though Sarah said I was doing great and I was losing weight already but I knew that wasn't true. She had covered up all my mirrors and windows so I couldn't see my reflection properly but when I looked down at my body all I saw was ...fat.

'Ok now remember to lift your knees up high as if your stomach was pulling them, straight back and your arms swinging like I taught you' She instructed and we began the jog again.

This was at least the 3rd week in this "workout of hell" My personal nickname for it and I seriously don't feel any different, after hundreds of chin ups, thousands of steps and at least 10 different jogs a day and it was getting nowhere. We had done our 5th lap when she called break and we walked over to the silver seats.

. She gave me a bottle of water and I gulped all of it down before cracking my neck, she smiled kindly then said 'Ok 50 steps lets go' She told me and I heaved myself up, I began stepping quickly as she was leading the way her hair bobbing from behind her. I was having silent tears when she said 'Okay, let's head in'

She helped me up and I limped into the hospital with everybody looking at my sweating body. I groaned as we began up the stairs to my floor and she encouraged me by saying 'You're so skinny now!' or 'Wow babe, you've done so well! You're as skinny as me!'

I rolled my eyes at these remarks suspecting they were wrong and we walked into my room where my mum was here reading a magazine, she had come last week but was busy with the move, her eyes wondered up to me and widened.

'Oh my gosh! Adena you look so-' she was cut off by Sarah saying 'tired, and she definitely is; you should get some rest Dee, remember your leaving tomorrow'

I nodded and yawned before tucking myself into bed, while Sarah and Mum began talking in hushed whispers. I vaguely remember saying to them before I drifted 'Stop being banana eating pickles that ride unicycles and tell me what's going on?'

But they ignored me and I went to my happy place which amazingly was my bed at home, it was literally the hardest bed in mother nature's creation; come to think of it she probably created it! Felt like stone always but had been my best friend at home and I used to lie there and cry myself to sleep, my tears hitting the hard surface as mum thought I didn't deserve a pillow because I was such a naughty child and possibly the worst person she saw every morning. Of course Stan applauded her in these actions which made me feel even shallower. Maybe it was just my low self-esteem but I knew one thing back then. Karma always comes back around.

The dream was pretty simple but I looked completely different, yeah sure I was still very fat and ugly but I was pale and I had bruises all over my face as my own reflection curled up into a ball while screams of my name were coming from my door. My dream me couldn't bring herself to open the door and just laid there crying to herself, silent sobs making me choke on my fake spit. I could feel tears prickling to my eyes as a loud banging of my old door became more interruptive and I saw myself stand up and wobble over to the door. Wait no! I screamed at myself but she didn't hear me as she reluctantly but slowly opened the door.