The Son of Solangelo (This is bonus stuff)

Chapter Twenty-Two: Dudley's Pregnant (don't ask)

I couldn't stop my laughter, as Dan paced my room back and forth, holding my favorite book. "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense. Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere. The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it."

"shut up"

However, he was very concentrated on the book, but he didn't seem to be taking past the first paragraph. Finally, he spoke up. "Is there secret that Dudley's pregnant? OH MY GOSH! IT SO IS."

"No, it's--"

"IS VERNON PREGNANT?"

"No, no one is--"

"So no one's pregnant?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Er..... are they, like, secretly holding potato chips hostage? AND EATING THEM?" He looked with a suspicious face at the book.

"Yes. Yes they are." I said, quite amused.

"I KNEW IT! I'M A GENIUS!"

"You're a dork."

"You're a hippo."

"Oh no. You've found me out." I wailed sarcastically.

"You know what else you are?"

"What?"

"Adorable."

"Lies."

"........ truths"

"But I'm not adorable."

"In my opinion, you are."

"Meh"

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Fine, yeah, whatever."

"Am I a squirrel? Because I want to bury my nuts in you."

"Are you the postman? Because I saw you checking out my package."

"I'll treat you like my homework. Slam you against the desk and do you all night."

"Are you my shirt? Because I'll wear you like one."

"Are you the screw driver? Because I'm the screw, and your pick up lines DRIVE me insane."

"Am I a bike? Cuz I'd let you ride me."

"Are you a rabbit? Because you can come in my hole."

"But you don't have a hole."

"Yes I do. I have my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my ears--"

"Shut up."

We laughed and told each other pick lines for the next while, before I feel asleep eventually.

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sooo I wasn't exactly done with this chapter, but it's taken forever for me to update.... sooo.... yeah. I'll just say dis here