"We just saw Stella and you said hi, asking how she was and then you just collapsed," Alex said as we sat down on a bench by the fountain in the shopping centre.
"You were screaming too," Stella adding. "You were screaming 'Stop. Stop, please.'"
"I didn't even know I blacked out," I murmured. "I thought we went to all our shops then went down to the parking lot to go home."
"We were heading there. But as I said, we saw Stella," Alex said. "Jack, what were you screaming about?"
"I... I was... Not now," I tried but didn't want to upset. I tried to change the subject."Stella, how have you been?"
"Well since you last seen me, I've obviously got out of getting hammered every night. I owe you one Jack. I'm trying detoxing."
"That really great," I said with a half hearted smile.
"Uh... I'm sorry, Jack. But I have to get going," Stella said checking the time on her phone with a disappointed look. "It was really great seeing you." I watched her as she walked off, her heels clicking the tiles.
"What could you not say with her there?" Alex asked instantly.
"I think I blacked out right when we encountered her but I dont remember seeing her. When we got to the car, I thought I saw her. She was hysterical, blaming me for why she was a wreck. She dragged me out of the car and started kicking me on the ground. Then I heard you scream my name as I thought I was blacking out... But I came to when I heard you."
"That's..." Alex tried, but couldn't find the words. "Let's get you home."
---
I couldn't stop thinking about Stella the next few weeks. I don't know why. Our most recent encounter was far different from the one before. I saw a new light in her when I saw her by my side, a sparkle in her eye. I kept thinking of it.
I kept thinking of the night we first met, before me and Alex. I saw something pure in her...
And I ruined that.I ruined the sweet smile, the flickering fire in her eyes.
Even if she was better than the encounter we had those few years ago, she wasn't the same. There was a guilty look. A selfish look. A wanting look. As if she still...
"I'm going out for a walk," I said to Alex as I threw on my coat.
"Do you want me to go with you?" Alex asked, me shaking my head.
"Nah, you don't have to.. I actually want to... um... clear my head a bit," I hesitated, him raising a brow to me but nodding at me, me walking out the door and shutting it behind me, meeting the soft chill of early autumn.
When I reached the end of the estate, I pulled out my phone. I dialed in the number and waited.
"Hey, Stella..."
---
I sat at the stool at the bar as I waited for her. She said she'd be there in ten, and just a moment after, she came in the door. She was wearing a black party dressed with fishnets and leather buckled boots. She had a soft smike on her lips when she saw me, her leaving her coat on a stool and sitting on the one beside.
"Hey," she said, a beaming smile on her face.
"H-Hey," I stuttered out as a wide smile spread over my face, my cheeks flushing light pink as I hung my head.
"Nice place," she said looking right down at me, me guessing right into my eyes to catch me out. She and I both knew this was the bar we first met, and that was fine as there wasn't many bars around this area. But she was trying to see in me if I'd done it on purpose (I had).
"Whatcha call me out for, then, if you're just gonna blush?" she asked, giggling as I sighed and looked up at her.
"You seemed happy to see me the other day... So I guessed we could catch up."
A look of suspicion was on her face, but still a smile.
We talked about things for an hour or two, but then something slipped out of her mouth.
"I honestly thought you were looking at me like you..." but then she stopped.
"Like I what about what?" I urged.
"You know when you kissed me?" she said after a moment or two of hesitation.
My heart jolted. "Yeah," I said, gulping mentally.
"Even though we were both drunk, it looked like you actually wanted to. I thought you liked me."
"I do," I said, it slipping out before I could stop myself. I squeezed my eyes shut.
"I...," I tried but sighed. May aswell say the truth now. "I was attracted to you since I first saw you. I thought you were sweet, funny and really pretty. But then I started going out with Alex. I pushed you to the wayside," I said, my eyes still closed. I peeked through, Stella looking astonished. I opened my eyes to look at her while I said: "Me and Alex have been through a lot together. We both love each other very much. But we have been self distructive, and depressed. Sometimes I think that's the only reason we stay together. I'm... bored."
"So you're bored of Alex so you think you can tell me this so..." Stella said.
"I think I've always liked you but only because me and Alex have history we stay. I've ran from him more than once. It's out of guilt I come back. I'm sick of it."
"I... I don't want to ruin what you and him have."
"We have seperated at least five times during the last five years. I don't want to be unhappy again," I said, taking her hand. "I want to see if I can be happy with you."
She didn't know what to say. She stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, me guessing she was thinking this all through.
"Can..." she whispered, after she finished her drink, as she looked right into my eyes. "Can you walk me home?"
---
When we got to her front door after a silent walk, she finally spoke.
"You never told Alex you came out with me tonight did you?"
I hung my head, shaking it the once and sighing.
"Tomorrow at six," she said, kissing me on the cheek.
She walked to her door.
"Where?" I asked.
"Our place."
