I came home that night, all the lights off in the front room. I put my key in and tried to let myself in as quietly as I could, closing the door and taking to the stairs.
"You could of called, but I guess you did leave your cell," Alex said from the sitting room. I flinched at the thought of everything that had happened this evening as I made my way to him, trying to compose myself.
"Where were you? I called Rian. He said you weren't here. Then Matt, Vinny, and Danny. All said they hadn't seen you. I half thought I should go out to look for you incase-"
"I just really needed a walk?" I said as I turned and begged to be let back to the stairs.
"Don't you need anything to eat?" he said as if I were stupid and had forgotten something really important.
"I already ate," I lied as I practically ran up the stairs and went to the bathroom, switching on the water. I heard Alex's foot steps as he climbed up the stairs.
"What's up Jack?" he said from behind the door.
"I... I've been just thinking a lot," I half truthfully said.
"If you ask me, you've been a bit off since you black out that few weeks ago. Is it what you hullucinated that's on your mind?" he asked.
I sighed. "Yeah."
"It's better if you talk about it than letting it eat you."
"I know," I whispered under my breath.
"Come into me once you're done and we can talk."
"A'right," I said finally, hopping in the shower, shampooing my hair then getting back out to dry and dress myself.
I reluctantly came out of the bathroom. I have to say it to him. Not about Stella but...
I walked into the bedroom, him sitting on the bed with slight bags and a weak smile that he was forcing.
"Alex..." I started, trying to think real hard what I wanted not slipping out of my mouth.
"Yeah, babe?" Alex asked, him pouting slightly.
"Well... I want... Alex, this isn't easy for you to here..." I tried, him standing up and looking at me as if trying to figure me out.
"I don't want us to get depressed again and me leave at anytime you're fragile. We are both in a better place right now... But I've been thinking for a long time..."
"What are you trying to say?" Alex asked. "Spit it out," he nearly screamed as if fearing I'd say what he thought I was going to say. I was going to break him heart... Ruin him...
"I don't want to hurt you, Alex," I started sobbing, but no tears were coming. "I think we at least need a break."
His eyes filled up with tears, them spilling down his cheeks. "Why? We're... We are happy together, aren't we?"
"I'm not happy anymore, Lex," I whispered. "We have history but... It's not cutting it anymore."
"Y-You're just afraid that something'll happen that'll make sonething go wrong with us, that's it," Alex said while trying to smile for himself through blinding tears. I couldn't find anything else to say. He sobbed, but was otherwise silent for the next few minutes. When he stopped crying he spoke once more, it such a sad croaky whisper.
"Where could I even go, Jack? I have nowhere except here with you."
"I'll ask May if I can stay in my dad's house for the next few weeks until I sort something," I said, walking to the bedroom door. "I'll take my stuff out tomorrow. I'll leave you be."
He looked at me as if he'd never see me again.
"Alex, just because I don't want us to be in a relationship, does not mean, that when you are ready, we could still be friends."
Alex's eyes went wide and he bared his teeth as he snarled. "Don't you fucking DARE."
I went to the chest of drawers and casually grabbed as many clothes as I could fit in a leather carrier bag.
"Bye," I murmured as I walked out the door and down the stairs. I walked out the front door, the air now bitterly cold.
---
She woke up suddenly to the sound of the doorbell, her getting out of bed and coming down the stairs to open the door for me.
"J-Jack," Stella stuttered, looking at the time on the clock at the end of the hall. "It's two am, what are you doing here?"
"I... I told him I wanted a break and I threw myself out. I didn't mention you at all... He has a few reasons to hate you, as you know," I said.
"Oh..." she said looking puzzled. Then suddenly her eyes widened.
"Why did you do that to him?!" she nearly screamed, then looked around the outside of her house, grabbing me by the cuff of my shirt, closing the door.
"You are bored because you're with him five years! Doesn't mean you brake up with him!" she shouted at me. "You left him in a STATE didn't you?!"
"No..." I whispered. "He cried but would of been angrier if I stayed."
"Now you expect me to be nice to you?" she quizzed.
"If I went to anyone else they'd throw me to the curb 'cause they'd be as much on Alex's side as mine."
She looked at me attentively, her hard eyes melting her stern look becoming a tired gaze. She sighed. But her eyes seemed to stick on mine, as if her stare was glued.
I now noticed her hand was still gripped on the cuff of my shirt, it now loosely gripping around my wrist. Her other hand, she put around my neck, her beckoning me down to her level as she was a far few inches shorter than me. She leaned towards me and then her lips met mine. A surge of electricity hit me as her hands gripped a bit tighter, me finding my hands gripping around her waist, pulling her closer to me. She pulled me into the next room without breaking the kiss.
*sex scene that had to be cut out happens*
"That was... amazing," I gasped, her kissing me lightly on the lips, snuggling in beside me on the couch, her bare skin touching mine.
I smiled lightly, but it still stung what I had done.
I had ruined what Stella had been by denying her, and I was afraid that I'd be the final thing to finish the oh so ruined Alex off.
I was afraid I'd get a phone call still. But I hoped so much he'd be okay.
I needed to be okay too though... So that's why I've done what I done. That's why I decided to leave Alex, my best friend since I was eight, a boy who helped me through my depression, self harm and suicide attempts, to be with Stella would I meet five years ago through chance, and have no real history with because I think she's the good thing for me.
