Six Letter Word [Kaylor]

October 2016 (Part 1)

I expected to have trouble sleeping the night before surgery, but once I fell asleep, I was totally out. I completely missed Karlie getting up to take her shower and eat breakfast, and only began to awaken when I felt the bed shift as she sat down on my side of the bed. I was lying on my stomach with my head turned toward her side, and I allowed myself to just lay there as she gently smoothed my hair, now back to its normal length, across my neck, exposing my right shoulder. I wasn't at all surprised when she bent to kiss that exposed skin and murmured my approval. I felt her gently lay something there, followed by her pressing something warm and wet to it. "The hell are you doing, Karls?" I mumbled into the pillows, still without having opened my eyes.

"It's a temporary tattoo of a giraffe," she replied, keeping her voice low and gentle to allow me a few more lazy moments, "because I always have your back. A little piece of me can go with you into surgery, even though I have to wait with your mom in the waiting area." Once I felt her peel away the paper backing, I sat up and slipped my glasses on so I could see her, already dressed and ready for the day. She kissed me, and I tasted cinnamon, as close to breakfast as I was going to get until after the surgery, some hours later. It didn't take long to get ready, given that all I had to do was throw on leggings and a sweater and brush my teeth. I couldn't wear my contacts, or eat anything, and I left all my jewelry at home except for my wedding band, which I planned to wear until the last possible second.

I felt relatively calm gathering my iPod, a relic from years ago, but I wasn't comfortable taking my phone with me, given all it contained. The iPod, on the other hand, just had my choice in calming music which they would let me listen to to lower my anxiety levels going into surgery. I'd had the pre-op appointment Friday, when they'd run one last set of labs on my blood and checked to make sure that my heart was good to go for surgery. Hearing once again that, aside from the cancer, I was strong and healthy had been reassuring. I was confident in the team they'd assembled to take care of me, and I knew that they would do everything they could to make sure surgery went well. It was at that appointment that they suggested I bring music and told me how to prep for the surgery. Besides that, we'd spent Friday going over our finances. I didn't want to overwhelm Karlie all at once, but it was important that she be joint on some accounts, and that she have some idea where all my money was, be that investments, or real estate holdings, or basic bank accounts. I don't have one single financial advisor because I've seen enough movies to know that's a really good way to either lose all your money or end up owing millions in back taxes, but I only introduced Karlie to one. The rest could wait.

I felt better, after that, about some of the legal and financial parts of marriage that my legal team wanted me to take care of. I still didn't love the idea of signing a post-nup, but I understood why we had to, and Karlie had contacted one of the lawyers she'd worked with through IMG in the past to see if she could look over what Robert had given me before we signed. None of that would happen until after surgery, but now that it wasn't on our plates anymore, I could let go of that and spend the weekend focused on my relationship and my wife before the surgery. The last work related thing we'd done Friday was officially announce my withdrawal from the concert at the end of October. It didn't seem fair to make people wait for a decision while I waited to see how I'd feel. If I cancelled now, fans who'd made plans to travel might be able to change or cancel their plans, and it would give the people at Formula 1 more time to find alternate entertainment. It was in my contract that I could pull out for health reasons, and if there was any pushback, my team didn't pass it on. The fans were, I'm sure, understandably disappointed, but I chose to stay off the internet for a while and let my team deal with any issues that arose from the cancellation without knowing about them. I didn't need negativity right then.

We'd been paped Saturday at Whole Foods, picking out things I thought I might want to eat while I recovered, and all the coverage, thankfully, focused on how cute we looked shopping, with nominal discussion of the fact that I was starting treatment for cancer. Little reminders to the public were probably good, given that I was cancelling what should have been my biggest concert ever. They noted how Karlie took care of me and was protective, and also reported that we'd bought and abnormal amount of ice cream. All things I was okay with. We'd gone out to eat, something we knew we wouldn't do for a bit, even dressing up some for the occasion. Sunday we'd stayed home, though Cara, Derek, Martha and Gigi had come over in the afternoon just to hang out and keep my mind off of what was coming. By Monday morning, the day of the surgery, I was in a pretty good place, knowing that things were as settled as I could make them.