Six Letter Word [Kaylor]

February 2017 (Part 2)

Time has a way of playing tricks on you in a hospital. Everything happened so fast after the alarms started going off, and yet, it seemed like time had slowed to a crawl while I waited to find out what it meant for us. I know I was asked for permission to treat Taylor, and I'm sure they tried to explain what they were going to do, but the only thing I know is that I begged them to save her life. I never learned the name of the man who practically carried me out of the room, but I know he went above and beyond taking care of me while I freaked out. I fought him pretty hard and I wish I knew who he was to apologize to him for the bruises I'm sure I gave him, but he held me tight, and once the fight had gone out of me, he let me turn around and cry on his shoulder and then gently guided me to a bench before going off to do whatever his actual job was at the hospital. I was still slumped on that bench, my face in my hands, once again sending prayers to whatever deity might be able to influence how she was doing when Derek found me, carrying a bag of things he'd grabbed from the house back when I thought we were just going to be admitted for a few days until Taylor felt better.

He ran to me as soon as he recognized my bun. He knew the fact that I was alone and not in a room with Taylor wasn't a good thing, and seeing my head in my hands and my puffy red eyes was all he needed to know something was really, really wrong. I wasn't able to produce coherent sentences, and even if I had, I had absolutely no idea what had gone wrong or where Taylor was or even if she was still alive. That killed me. The possibility that the next doctor to approach me might bear the news that she hadn't made it. That my smart, sassy, strong wife might be gone, just like that. That I might have slept through it. That she might be alone. Derek was still holding me when a man in green scrubs came to find me. I have never before in my life felt my knees go weak like they did in that moment. If Derek hadn't been there to support me, I would have just fallen into a puddle right on the floor of the hospital hallway. I wasn't at all prepared for anything he might have to say. I wasn't even sure I wanted to know. As long as he didn't say the words, I could still believe that my wife was alive.

"Mrs. Swift-Kloss?" I sort of nodded in response to his question, but I guess it wasn't definitive enough, because he looked to Derek for confirmation. Receiving it, he continued, "I'm Doctor Shah. Your wife is being transferred to the critical care unit in critical but stable condition. She is on the borderline between severe sepsis and septic shock. Her treatment is complicated by the fact that she has a penicillin allergy and is immune compromised from the cancer treatment. However, we are giving her the best medical care we can and will continue to do everything possible to help her fight the infection. For the moment, that means we've put a tube in so that we can use a machine to help her breathe. I won't lie, Mrs. Swift-Kloss, your wife is very sick. But for the moment, she is doing as well as anyone with her diagnosis can. A nurse will be along shortly to take you and your..." he trailed off, again looking at Derek who without hesitation supplied 'brother,' "up to see her in critical care as soon as the transfer is complete."

For the third time in less than an hour tears sprang to my eyes. She was alive. She was in no way out of the woods, but she wasn't gone. I wasn't going to have to make the call to her family, to our friends, that less than two days after one of the best nights we'd shared since she'd gotten sick, I'd lost her. Not yet. Derek pushed me to take a moment to change, maybe put on shoes in place of my leopard print bedroom slippers. He promised he wouldn't move from the spot where the doctor had left us, arguing that it wouldn't help Taylor get better for me to refuse to change out of my jammies. When I returned, he was still standing exactly where I'd left him. I'd been gone two minutes max, just enough to do what I had to do in the bathroom, put on workout clothes, brush my hair and emerge, and I hadn't missed anything. The nurse walked up soon after to lead us up to the critical care ward.