Pulse

10

ZAYNS POV

Dad makes pasta and garlic bread all from scratch and it tastes okay.

Dakota talks about her mom and her dad but only ever so lightly. Dad asks about school and shit. He even askes if she wants wine and she says no. And he smiles. I don't think I have ever heard Dakota say no to alcohol, he has no clue.

"You're a very lovely girl." Dad says. And Dakota flashes and smile and thanks him. "Looks like you two are finished." He says.

We both nod in unison. "Zayn...I want to talk to you..." He says as we get up. "Yeah..okay. Let me show Dakota the back house and I'll come back." He nods.

I reach for Dakotas hand and she shakes for a little bit, "Sorry." She says and holds my hand tight.

We reach the back of the house and the outside wind hits us lightly. We walk a few feet in silence.

The "back house", is something my brother and I called our tree house for many years. And when we thought we were cool, we called it the COS. Camber of secrets....we weren't too bright. But now it's simply called the back house. My dad before his second deployment builded us a house that was ours and no one was allowed in. Until we were in middle school, my brother in 8th grade and i in 7th, we would sneak girls in here and have small party's. My brother mostly, I was just generically invited.

Wasn't till my brother left, and maybe before that, when my mom died; I started drawing in here and blasting music for hours. In a closet in here, was like a venting wall for me. That's were id write lyrics or words that came to my head. It's like a diary closet. Id write things, I couldn't say.

When I unlock the door and we enter, Dakota runs her hand on the painted walls in amazement and it makes me Smile, "It's like my grandpa's wearhouse...." I can see eyes rapidly falling from her eyes, when I reach for her she pulls away. "Are you okay?" I ask. She wipes her checks and smiles, "Do you have drinks in here?" I nod and motion to under my bed. "Im gonna talk to my dad I'll be back." I say. She nods and drinks down a vodka bottle. I've never seen someone drink so fast....that has to burn really bad.

I go back into the main house and find my dad in the living room holding a drink. "Yeah?" I say. He motions for me to sit by him but I pick to sit in the love seat opposite of him. He looks disappointed and puts down his drink. "I know you hate this place. And you hate me..." "I don't hate you." I intercept. He smiles at that and continues, "Could of fooled me. Ha ha....Okay but I've changed. I get it you don't want to be a soldier. It took me a long time to register this okay? And I'm very sorry for being so frustrated at you. But this house is too empty. I need you here okay? I'm too sad and I can't handle it, it's like air itself is pushing me down, slowly taking every breath out of me. I kept telling myself missing her is going to get easier and it's not and I can't loose you too."

I put my head forward and take a breath, catching tears from coming down my face. My dad reaches for me and we both stand hugging each other. "Im not like Ian, or you dad. Im me, and you have to let me be me. This is home not just a building, and I'm here. I never left. Just be my dad." I say.

We finally pull away and my dad pats my right shoulder. "I wouldn't want you to be anyone else. You can go back now, your lady probably misses you." I nod and smile at the man who has changed for the better.

"And dad?" I say before leaving the living room.

"Yeah son?"

"Im going to stay here." I turn on my heal and walk towards the backyard, even though I can't see my dad, I know his smiling.

When I walk into the back house, it's empty. Dakota isn't here, I look in the bathroom; nothing. I look on the bed and there's a note and I can feel my face heat.

Im so sorry. I tried. -Dakota