Happened Again

Yet Another Time

Eyes closed, I concentrated on the songs playing on my phone instead.

🎶 Who do you think you are
Running round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
You're gonna catch a cold
With the ice inside your soul
Who do you think you are 🎶

Heart.Soul.Love.Him.

I yanked the earphones off before my feelings could start lingering on his name.

Too deep song.

I frantically started looking for my cigarette, I had to divert my attention.

And then, I saw them.

Him with her.

I kissed the lighted ammunition and made my way to my class, I can do it; I will have to.

Everything will be different from tomorrow, with exams already ending and everyone basing farewell, today is the last day of our school life.

And the last time I am seeing his face.

I threw the cigarette away and sat by the window side, looking at the field which was bare and unkept and unloved; just like my heart.

I saw two juniors being playful with each other, zooming with my imaginary binoculars, I made out that it was my sister and her guy best friend.

Do not fall in love with your best friend, I warned her the very next day after getting my already broken heart into another zillion pieces.

Seeing them, I jogged back to that night, which was paradoxically intimate and absolutely naive.

It was dark but cheerful night for me, at that moment, for he was with me. For the first time in months, I let my guard fall and let him brush against my bare heart.

Walking down the alley, I never expected him to be so straightforward and brave, I guess he was still a mystery to me.

He held me by my side and looked deep down into my eyes, as if I were a greater puzzle than him. I fluttered my eyes away ,feeling the urgency to hide my emotions, for the eyes are the window to the soul.

"You love me, don't you? "

I couldn't look into eyes, dreading that it will only give out hatred. I felt guilty, after all I have committed a sin. The sin of falling in love with my best friend.

But then.

I remembered all those intimidating times we had spend with each other, letting out our every secret and making promises we knew we would keep at that moment.

I remembered all the times he gave me those butterflies and those hopes.

I can't be the only one wrong here.

I gathered up whatever courage was left in me and blurted out ...

"Yes! I love you "