Poems for Everything(Part#2)

Nightmare

**This is a dream I had...sorry nightmare..

I walk through the door, knowing I have somewhere to go but no idea where that is at the same time. My feet carry me forward, so I let them. The building reminds me of a Hospital, only empty and colder. I shiver and push open some doors and stop in my tracks. There's silver tables in front of me, one that looks like what they put dead people on in a mourge. I see only one sheet with something-someone under it. I walk towards it, slower, getting colder with each step. I stop beside the body. I shiver as I reach towards the sheet. I pull it back slowly...

I feel my heart stop and die inside my chest as my eyes take in his face. It's paler than normal, no color at all. The small freckles on his face stick out more than usual. His hair is still wet from where they washed it, but slowly drying and curling slightly. I brush it back with soft fingers and feel ice cold tears burn down my checks. I gulp back a sob and pull the sheet down to see his bare chest. It's plain and bare, no marks so I know they didn't do an autopsy. I see a clipbord and grab it, hoping it will tell me what happened.

A sob escapes when I see it was suicide by carving his wrist with a name...my name... I look back at his face. I try to tell myself he's asleep, but I know he's not. I notice something in his other hand, and reach over and pull a piece of paper out. I see words written in blood, and know it's his.

Tell her I love her...I always have and always will...I'll be waiting for her...

I drop the note, unable to look at it again. So I pick up his right arm, turning it over so I can see his lower arm. I see my name and bite back a sob. I put his arm back down softly, looking at his face. His lips are slightly blue, and his hair is dryer. I trace his lips, shuddering at how cold he is. I close my eyes and start to lift the sheet to cover him again when his blue eyes open up and look at me. I gasp and step back.

"...your fault..." His lips move. I look at him as he sits up. I can tell he's completly naked, but it doesn't bother me. I hardly notice since the sheet keeps him covered. I only look at his blue eyes, the ones that I've always loved. They're ice cold, no warmth or love in them. "It's your fault I'm dead..." I just look at him. "It's your fault I'm dead, Caitlin." I hear someone scream, only to realize it's my own scream.

"No..." I whisper.

"Your fault." He repeats. I close my eyes tight.

"No..." I whisper again and open them to see I'm in a bathroom now. My old bathroom at my old house before mom made us move into our apartment. I'm sitting in the tub and have a steak knife in my hand. "No...it is my fault..." I whisper aloud as I start to carve in my arm...I carve his name in my arm and watch the blood gush out. "It's all my fault..." I whisper as my blood flows and my vision blurs... "I'm sorry..." I put two of my fingers in my blood and write on the wall:

I love him too...always will and have...I'll see you soon...

I close my eyes and put my head back. I get colder and colder...