Song: What you need by BMTH
As I woke up I realised I didn't exercise yesterday. That made me feel sad, again.
You stupid fat pig. I thought to myself.
"You are not stupid fat pig. You're one of a kind."
Oh, shut up you stupid voice. You make things even harder. You're weird and scary. Why are you doing this to me? My body ached and I started crying quietly so nobody could hear me. Nothing good ever happens to me.
"Don't think so."
It really won't leave me alone. If this voice thinks about Octavian, well I will say that I'm still sceptical about our friendship. I'm a pessimist. Thinking about him made me feel a bit better but not for long.
I just don't know what is happening. I suddenly want to have a friend or someone with who I can talk about same interests such as music, movies and life. But at the same time I don't want to have a friend. I don't want to make any kind of bond with anyone.
My mind is really weird. I think about bunch of stuff randomly. There is not one day I don't think about hell. And when I say hell by that I mean school.
I hate it. Especially all those preparations before it actually starts. I had some new books I had to organise and sort out, write my name on them, so I decided to stay at home today,as I have done most of the summer. I turned on Sempiternal full album and started with work.
As I was sorting those books I got a new message on Facebook. I wasn't hoping for it to be from Octavian, but it was. Honestly, this is really weird for me. I mean, two days in a row.
This makes it really hard for me because I know nothing about relationships between people. Is he into me? Does he like me as a friend or something more? I hope it isn't something more, it would be so hard to explain things to him.
I just want a real friend, someone who will be able to understand me, my weirdness and depression. Who would not tell me I'm just faking everything out. I need someone who will simply understand. I still think I'm better of alone, without any friends because I can't get disappointed and hurt.
"Good morning! Did u get enough sleep?"
"Hmmm...let's say so. God, I hate school!"
"What's wrong?"
"I just don't want to go back. I'm sure u know how I feel."
"I definitely know how u feel. I feel the same way as u. Trust me, nobody likes school. Except those nerds, no offends to them. Idk if ur one of them."
YOU ARE READING
Stronger Than Depression
Teen FictionShe was on the edge for so long. She often cutted and thought of suicide. But suicide isn't the answer. So she decided to help herself, as much as she could. She will try and cure it. She will say stop to depression. Well, will she? Ema is fighting...
