Thoughts

Chapter nine (Milan)

A/N

Do you see the way he looks at his blue eyes? I just.. I can't... It's so cute!

#goals.

I'm sorry if there is any bad grammar or spelling errors.

<3

***

It is already nine o'clock but me and Thomas are finally going to see Max. Visiting hour has been stretched for us because there were so many of us. The first ones went in at the end of visiting hour so yeah.

At least... I thought is was our turn to see Max when I say Tom leaving his room. He walked towards us with an apologetic look on his face.

''Sorry dude, he fell asleep on us.'', Tom said.

''Well, that doesn't mean I can't go, does it?'', I say mather of factly.

''What's the benefit if he's asleep?'', he responds.

''I just need to no if he's okay.'', I say defending myself.

''De doctor told you he is fine. Seven people have seen him, they all say he's fine.'', Tom responds surprised of my defending tone.

''I won't fricking believe until I see it for myself.'', I say irritated.

I turn my head away from Tom, look Thomas in the eyes for a quick moment en I start to walk towards Max' room.

As I reach his room my movements slow down. I reach his door but my legs just stop moving.

I'm scared. I can't see Max yet, all I need to do his walk to the door and look to my right. It will only take a second, but I can't.

Why am I scared?

All of the sudden I feel a strong hand on my arm, twisting me around. I meet Thomas his eyes and he pulls me towards him. I know the rest of our friends can see us and normally I would care but right now I don't give a fuck.

I tightend my grip on Thomas as he does the same. I didn't realize how much I needed this until now. Thomas always knows this shit. He knew I needed courage. Thomas is the only one, well next to Max, who truly understands me. He knows exactly why I feel the need to see Max with my own eyes and why I can't just believe all the others.

He pushes me away from himself and gives me a reasuring wink. He turns me around and lightly pushes me towards the door and inside the room.

I turn my head to the right and immediately notice Max lying there. He looks different than usual. I don't see a sixteen year old boy. I see a vulnerable five year old, hiding under his blankets and unknowd to the dangers and insecureties of the real world.

I slowly sit down next to him on the stool and grap his hand. I keep staring at Max.

I can't help it. Everytime I look at him, especially know when he's asleep, I see an angel. He looks so cute and innocent. Right now, while he's asleep, I can't see the fear I ussualy notice in his eyes. I see it everytime I speak to him, or just look at him in general. He is scared.

I take a look at his blonde curls. I completely forget the fact that Thomas is still in this room as I reach with my free hand towards his face. I swipe the curls out of his face and a small smile playes on my face. His face and hair is so soft. I stare at his freckles.

Perfect. Just as always.

Then out of nowhere I hear a sneeze from my left. I look up rather startled and turn bright red.