Thoughts

Chapter thirteen (Milan)

It's 8 am, Monday morning and I wake up rather sad. I slowly sit up from my bed and throw my legs over the side of my bed. I look at my reflection in the mirror. I look like crap. Today is the day. Today I was supposed to go to Max and check up on him, talk to him and talk to the psychiatrist.

I am not going. He doesn't want me there. And I can't handle it.

After I told Thomas, well confirmed, that I love Max he tried to tell me Max doesn't hate me. I kind of believed him afterwards. Thomas told me Max is even more insecure than we thought. And after our talk I understood. I thought back to the things Max said to me and the things just clicked together. He doesn't hate me, he thinks I hate him.

But that isn't changing anything. He still doesn't want me there and he will just turn his back to me if I did came.

I am still looking at myself, straight into my eyes. I can see the sadness in my eyes. I've noticed this before in myself, whenever I'm not around Max something in my eyes just shows sadness. But now it's worse, because now I know he feels bad. And that is killing me, but me being there won't help him or me.

''MILAN! Will you please get down here, honey?'', I hear my mom shouting from downstairs.

''What do you want?'', I ask while walking in to the kitchen embracing the smell of some culinary breakfast.

''Hello, babe.'', Thomas says with a smirk.

''Oh god, not you. I don't want another scolding.'', I say with an eye roll while grabbing a plate of french toast.

''I am not going to scold you.'', he says with an amused smile. ''I will just simply tell you that you are going with us to Max.''

''I think this will end up with you scolding me.''

''Boys, Boys. Just eat your breakfast and we'll talk about this.''

***

They scolded at me.

And they won...

They somehow convinced me to come with them and right now Thomas, my mother and I are getting out of the car and walking towards the big building.

I tried to tell them I had to make the exams on school, but she just simply told me I wouldn't make them anyway cause I didn't learn. I didn't know a comeback because, well it's true.

''I really don't think this is a good Idea, Thomas.'', I state.

''Shut up, Milan.'', he answers grumpy.

''But he'll only feel worse after this, he doesn't want me to come.''

''Shut UP.''

'' But I don't have time for this, I need to learn for our exams.''

''You wouldn't have learned anyways.''

''But ...''

''Stop whining, don't be a pussy, you are coming with us.'', my mom says interrupting me with a really stern voice.

Ouch.

That obviously made me shut up. Is that even okay for a mom to say? Do you even care? No probably not. Let's go on. Sadly we just stepped inside the building, which means a step closer to Max. Soon a thin, nice looking man, around 25 years old, comes walking towards us and introduces himself as Sebastian. He tells us that he has been taking care of Max for the past few days and that he adores him.

Well, who wouldn't adore him.

He leads us towards the end of some hallway. I look to my right and I see Max sitting there with his back towards the open door. A nice looking lady with long blond wavy hair from around the thirties is talking to him. I notice Max looking down at his hands fidgeting with his fingers. I make sure not to talk because I don't want him to know I'm here yet.