Thoughts

Chapter ten (Max)

I wake up to see the same hospital room as last week. Oh wait, yesterday too. A deep sigh leaves my body as I reminicse last night's events.

Everyone visited last night, Milan's parents and all my friends except for two of them. The most important pair, Milan and Thomas. The last one I can remember visiting is Tom. I think I fell asleep after that, or was it during? Maybe they visited while I was asleep? I did dream about them. I was acting all weird because of the medication and I was a giggling mess. I told them I had a crush, that is was in love. I don't think I told them with who, fortunately. Even in my dream I would be rejected. There is not even the slightest change of him actually liking me, not in reality and not in my dreams.

Ugh. And now I have to go to a stupid mental institution for a week. It's not like I'm gonna talk to any of them. Why would I? I don't know those people. These are my thougts, not theirs. And I can't see the boys. I can't see Milan. I can't work. Yeah I can see him in like four days, but that's just for a little bit. And only to talk about therapy. I'm not going to tell them anything about what's going on. I don't need their pitty. I can do this on my own.

I'm a bit startled when the door suddenly opens, revealing Milan with a big smile on his face which falls the moment he sees me.

''Maxxie? Why are you crying, what is going on?'', he says with worry clearly there.

''What? I am not cr...'', I stop talking as I reach with my fingers to my damp cheeks. Astonished I move my hands in front of my eyes to look at me moist fingertips.

I look up at Milan, who is still staring at me with worry. I avert my eyes from his and travel down to his hands. I notice he is holding a bag and look at him questioningly, hoping he would forget about my damp cheeks. While he looks down at his hands, a bit confused, I quickly wipe my eyes from my tears.

''Oh yeah, erm, I-I thought I would get you some clothes and stuff. Cause you know, for the next week.'', he explains a bit shy.

I nod at him but I notice, and he does too, that tears are still softly rolling down my cheeks.

Milan puts his bag on the floor and slowly walks towards me, like I'm some scared little puppy and he doesn't want to scare me. As soon as he reaches me he opens his arms and gives me a warm hug. I freeze for a moment but soon relax while I wrap my arms around him to hug him back.

''What's wrong buddy?''

''I don't know.'', and I really don't. I think I just needed a hug or something.

Don't let me go. Stay with me. keep hugging me.

I'm a bit startled as I feel his long fingers run through my blond curls. Milans fingers keep sliding through my curls as I tighten my hold on him. His grip loosens and I'm fast to react as I say:

''Stay''

He chuckles softly but tightens his grip around me.

''Thank you.'', I whisper.

A small smile forms on my face and I could be imagining it but I think I could feel the same thing happeningen to Milan.

**

I don't want him to let me go. I want him to keep hugging me. Forever. I wish I didn't have to leave. I can't do this. I can't do a week without them, him.

These thoughts make my still swollen red eyes go watery again and tears fall once again down my cheeks.

We stay like this for a few minutes, me crying and him running his fingers through my hair reassuringly.