Colors ○ jb

14. A holiday?

Songs for the chapter:

Justin Bieber - Hard 2 Face Reality

Justin Bieber - No Pressure

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Justin's POV:

I ran my fingers through my hair for a hundred time in the past few hours.. And maybe for a hundred time I walked around in circle in the hotel's room, not being able to sit in one place.

"Damn it!" I cursed and throw myself on the soft bed.

I turned my head to the window, where the sun was just rising. I was still trying to comprehend my mother's words. Before a few hours, over 3 am, she called me to tell me Malika's father - Alexander had a heart attack. I was thankful that she called to tell me, because otherwise I would be the last one to find out. Now I had a dilemma. I didn't know if I should go to the hospital where Malika and her family were after our fight. I mentioned to my mother that the things between us weren't going well and she was the only person, who knew where I was in the last ten days. 

I spent ten fucking days in this fucking hotel room. Ten days in which I didn't stop thinking about everything that had happened in my life through the last few months. In the mornings I would wake up, go to work and after that I would come back to the hotel and my mind would once again start thinking about all these things. I was even avoiding Abigail. I was talking to her only about office things. Literally isolating myself from everyone and everything.. And maybe that was what I needed to succeed getting along with myself, to to succeed arranging my thoughts and to find out what I really want in my life.

I look at the watch on my hand that was showing 6 am. I took a deep breathe and decided to take a quick shower, and then go to the hospital.

At 6:30 am, I left the hotel and over 7 am, I parked my car in front of the hospital. It took me a few minutes before I got out of the car. I took a deep breathe and prepared myself for the colliding with Malika. That would be the first time seeing her after that day in which I found her with Zayn in our bedroom. To be honest, I was a little bit worried. I didn't know if I would be able to hold myself from saying something about that.

I entered the hospital, my hands were in the pockets of my jeans. I looked around and I didn't even know why I was doing it. I asked on the reception where I can find the room in which was Malika's father, and after they instructed me, I went there. Walking slowly, I was breathing heavily. My hands were in fists, preparing to see her. It seemed more easily, when I decided to come here, but now maybe I was regretting it a little. I didn't know if I was ready to see her after what happened. The truth was that we both hurt each other in a way no one other could. The thing we had between us was broken to so many pieces, that I could not imagine that they would ever become a one thing again. 

When I was near the room, I was able to hear her voice and slowed down my steps. My breathing quicken and I listened to her voice, stopping in one place. 

"I need to tell you something." I heard her voice. 

I knitted my eyebrows and decided to stay where I was, so I can listen. There was silence for a moment, but then she continue talking and her voice was trembling. 

 "You know how Jason was very sick as a child, right? Three months ago, I took him to the doctor for his monthly check.." She stopped for a moment "Many children are born with the so-called holes in the heart. This is a hole in the part of the septum that separates the atria - the upper chambers of the heart. This hole allows oxygen-rich blood from the left atrium to flows into the right atrium instead of flowing to the left ventricle as it should." There was another silence and it was like an entire century. I was holding my breathe and gripping even harder my fists. "Most children grow older and this hole closes or is too small, which doesn't interfere with the proper functioning of the heart." I felt how the air in my lungs wasn't enough and Malika didn't stop talking. "They found such a ventricular septal defect on Jason. The Docs are fearing that he would need surgery to restore the interventricular septum."