Colors ○ jb

07. When we were young.

Songs for the chapter:
Adele - When we were young
Nick Jonas - Jealous

---

I sat on the windowsill in the bedroom. My gaze was fixed into the darkness outside. I was holding my legs to my chest and listened to the gentle voice of Adele, which sounded in my ears through headphones. Each next song I promise to myself to be the last and then I'm going to bed .. And here I am now, at two-thirty in the morning, sitting on the windowsill in the bedroom that I shared with the man that made my heart torn in two.

Sigh escaped my lips, while again promise that this will be the last song that I listen, but this time for real. My eyes followed the drops that pounded on the window. It was raining outside again, and there were occasionally flashes of lightning.Somehow the rain comforted me. I felt that I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. It's like the tears couldn't come out of my eyes and descend down my cheeks, just as the raindrops fell on the window.

From time to time I looked at him. He slept so quietly and looked so innocent that by looking at him you would think that he is not capable of hurting a person as I was already injured hundreds of times. After the little incident in the studio in the late afternoon, I have sought to avoid him even more. At dinner, however, I had to face him .. again. I stood for an hour in front of him and his eyes never left my face. We led light conversation, almost insignificant and all because Jason was around. At the moment he finished with his dinner he went to our room, I slipped out of the dining room and I found what to do. Justin retreated to his office, telling me there is something to do. He tried again to strike up a conversation with me, but his attempt was unsuccessful. I don't know when he had gone to bed, but it was early. When at half past ten I went to our room to take a bath, he was already asleep. It was good for me. No need to try to avoid his gaze or his attempts to talk. I don't know what he was trying to achieve with this, however big part of me didn't want to understand. The other, of course, wanted him very much .. More than I should.

And so shortly after a shower, I found myself here on the windowsill. I played music and turned off the lights, watching the rain pour out for hours.

Everybody loves the things you do

From the way you talk to the way you move

Everybody here is watching you

'Cause you feel like home

You're like a dream come true

Slightly I turned to him and looked at his sleeping face. He was facing the window. Barely managed to see him. I bit my lips again and returned my eyes to the rain. I shouldn't stare too long at him, because I finally really will cry.

But if by chance you're here alone

Can I have a moment before I go?

'Cause I've been by myself all night long

Hoping you're someone I used to know

I bit my lips hard. This song brought me back in time .. It made different moments to return to my mind .. in my heart.  

You look like a movie

You sound like a song

My God, this reminds me

Of when we were young

I looked back at Justin, then screwed up my eyes. My mind slowly brought me back to 2009 and more towards its beginning .. On the evening of Valentine's Day in February, just six months after we were officially together.