Phanfiction

Please Don't Go

Dan's POV:

This was inevitable really, we couldn't live together forever...one of us had to leave at one point or another.

I remember the day that I told him I was moving out, he thought I was joking at first and then when he finally realised that I was actually being serious he was confused...then angry...then completely silent.

The truth is I never wanted to leave. We've built such an amazing home here together in this apartment and I honestly have no reason for leaving apart from the fact that it'll just make the future easier...I hope. So many people have asked us if we see marriage and kids in our future, not with each other, but with anyone else and I spent endless sleepless nights going over everything in my head. Neither of us have been in a relationship since we met, maybe because we were just too busy, maybe because we just didn't find anyone who was right for us...maybe for a different reason completely. I finally came to the conclusion that it was probably time for me to leave - I didn't want to stop him from living his life to the full, he deserves so much more than just me.

I pick up my rucksack and slowly head down the hallway towards the door. All my stuff has been moved to my parents house for now, I'll be staying there until I find somewhere of my own. There's no reason for me to stay now.

In a way I hoped that he would stop me. I hoped he would say that he would say that he doesn't care about the future, just about what we have here and now. I hoped that he would beg me to stay...because all I want to do is stay...but staying would be so unfair on him.

I'm almost at the door when I hear him call my name. I slowly turn around to face him - this is going to he harder than I thought. He walks towards me and instantly my mind replays every time that he's walked down this hallway towards me, every time we've had anime marathons in the living room, every late night cereal snack in the kitchen that i've caught him in the middle of, every gaming video filmed in the office, every PhilIsNotOnFire filmed in his bedroom.

Tears well up in my eyes and I try so hard to stop them from falling. I can't believe that this is it. After all these years. All these memories. We'll still see each other but it won't be the same. It will never be the same again.

Tears begin to fall down his face and I have to turn back around because I can't bare to see him like this.

Phil's POV:

He turns the door handle and I reach for his hand but I'm too late. He opens the door and walks through it, closing it behind him and leaving me all alone as my arm falls limply at my side. "Dan...please don't go.." I utter despite the fact that he's already gone.

I can't believe he's really gone. Why on earth did I let him go? Why didn't I say something? Why didn't I try to stop him? I'm such and idiot!

I fall to my knees in front of the door and let the sobs take over my body as I lace my hands through my hair - why did he have to leave? We had such a perfect little home here. Just the two of us. Forever...or so I thought.

Dan's POV:

I take a moment to just stand in front of the door and process what I just did - I really did it, I really left. I let the tears pour down my face, not daring to think about what Phil's doing on the other side of the door.

I take a deep breath and attempt to begin the descent down the stairs, but I find that I can't bring myself to move. I look back at the door that I closed behind me - can I really do this?

Phil's POV:

I can't bring myself to move from the floor. The apartment is deadly silent apart from the sound of my never ending sobs - I didn't think that it was going to be this hard. I can't imagine not seeing Dan everyday. Not hearing him singing cheerfully in the shower, not seeing him in his browsing position, not hearing him pacing at early hours of the morning.

I'm sure I'll find someone eventually...maybe get a dog before that..? But in all honestly, whoever comes along next will never be the same as Dan. I never wanted him to leave. I don't know what to do without him...

Dan's POV:

It's been a couple of minutes now and I still can bring myself to walk down the stairs - why is this so difficult? Tears still trickle down my face and I try to stop them but it's no use, I've lost control.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and try to clear my mind. Why is it that whenever I close my eyes I see Phil? I let my mind wander through thoughts of him. I come to a conclusion: I can't leave him.

As my epiphany sets in I open my eyes and turn around to face the door again. Completely forgetting the taxi waiting outside for me I open the front door - our front door - and rush inside. In my hurry I almost trip over Phil who is sat in the hallway "Phil?!" I exclaim. "Dan?" He questions as he stands up and quickly attempts to wipe away his tears. "What are you doing?" He asks, I can hear the confusion in his voice along with my accelerating heartbeat.

"Phil...I just.." I stumble over my words, I'm rather flustered, this isn't what I planned but it's what I want. I take his hands in mine and he looks at me as if I'm insane. I slowly kneel down on one knee - I can't believe I'm about to do this! "Phil, I can't leave. I just can't do it. I'm so sorry that I've put you through all of this, but I just can't do it. Phil you mean more to me than anyone else, and I thought that leaving would allow you to live your life to the full and find someone to love, but I just..." I pause for a second trying to find the right words to say "Phil, we have this connection that I just can't explain! I knew that you mean a lot to me but until just now I had never realised just how much you really mean to me. Phil...I love you and I know that this is a long shot and you probably don't feel the same way and I'm just making a fool of myself but...I want to spend the rest of my life with you Phil. Will you marry me?"

Tears begin to fall down his face again and for a split second my face falls - that was a stupid thing to do, I shouldn't have done that! However, through the tears his gorgeous smile appears and he utters the words "Of course I will!" I smile widely and stand up, pulling him into my arms. "Really?!" I question, just to make sure. "Yeah" he assures me, tears of joy still falling down his face. The adrenaline takes over my body and I lean forward and catch his lips with mine. He smiles into the kiss and it feels so perfect. This is where I'm meant to be. This is my home.