Adore U

Four

If you asked me what would be the toughest part of falling in love with someone, I might answer: try to make the said person fall head over heels with you. Of course, if you aren't sure if the person reciprocated your feelings. And that's my case.

No one it's prepared for a rejection, you know? Luckily I feel secure enough; I'm more excited than scared. At least he likes me in a friendly way, I thought smiling to myself. Jackson is one of those persons that everybody likes; he is nice, funny, sincere, lovely, charming, manly, talented, handsome... Ok, I think I should stop there, but really, who can hate him?

I snapped back to reality when I heard Yuju's voice.

"Eunbi, you should smile more at his direction and initiate a conversation, don't make yourself the difficult type" My friends nodded at her advice and I just could blink, twice, thrice and said.

"Got it"

Each tip that the girls advised to me were making me a little bit dizzy in some way. It was too much. Makeup, styled hair, feminine clothes, cute actions and laugh at everything he says.

Really?

I tilted my head to the side, seeing the girls got back again into business, doing a debugging in my wardrobe, looking for the best outfit for the next episode of Idol is best. Not like I could complain though, they are trying to help and I'm very grateful to them.

However, I couldn't stop thinking that my best weapon is: be myself.

Your funny, beagle, boyish, sometimes cute, and talented self, Sinb, because why not?

I nodded proud of my plan. Such a genius, Sinb.

But trying what my girls said wouldn't hurt anybody, right? Right, so I decided to do a bit of everything.

I wonder what Jackson is doing right now... Maybe practicing, doing a performance, at a fansign, maybe sleeping? And without realizing my mind wanders around all the moments we have had in that little segment of Weekly Idol that has gotten me to know him more and fall in love with him without realizing.

Like that one time when he danced around me when he made his entrance. I swear I was so flustered back then, and could only laugh at his antics while Dahyun and Heechul sunbaemin 'protected' from him. It's not like I wanted that exactly but we were on air, and we have an image to keep. At least I could catch his eyes for a moment, and now I remember what he made me feel in that moment. Butterflies in my stomach, knots forming on my chest, slightly flushed face, and nervous laugh, just like a person in love. Such a cheesy description, isn't? But it was like that, nothing has changed since those days, only that now I can name it.

Love

Or am I being a little too much...? Maybe, but I don't mind, I will realized about it along the way. Even if it's painful, stressful, uncertain.

Also I remember when my girls and I were invited to the 5th anniversary of Weekly Idol, alongside with other groups: TWICE, BTOB and GOT7. I remember clearly how Jackson shouted my name when we were making our entrance. He was looking at me the entire time. He raised his arms and called my name. I didn't know what to do at the moment, for real; I was so surprised. I stared at him and couldn't help but laugh and follow with the entrance ceremony.

He didn't seem to care if everyone was looking at him, if there were cameras recording every single thing he did, if the other groups or his members would misunderstand, if people would suspect something.

I seemed like he only could focus on me in that instant.

And now that I remembered all of this, I wonder, what does that all mean?