Adore U

Seven

Everything happened in slow motion the instant her name was shout through the whole set. I felt how my heart started sinking with every step she made. It felt like the air was leaving my lungs, I felt sick, I felt lost.

My face surely was pale, and I was trying really hard not to shed some tears right there. Compose yourself, Eunbi, you have to be strong...

I know who this girl is; I know who is Heo Youngji and the effect she has in Jackson Wang. We have never talk but I have heard a lot about her former group, about her, about her and Jackson... And all those thoughts along were enough to make my heart hurt deeply...

Jackson...

My eyes slowly transferred to him, his face seemed to show so many things: confusion, shock, bitterness, fear, nostalgia. And if that wasn't enough to make me feel at loss, I don't know what else could.

I drifted my gaze back at her and tried to put a smile in my face, even if it seemed forced, even if it seemed hurt, broken. But I kept my head up, my defense up, my barriers up. I couldn't let them see how much it affected me.

She came nearer until she was at my side. Her smile was bright and wide making me felt uncomfortable for some reason, but I didn't express it, letting my neutral expression take over my face. The voices of the MCs were like empty whispers at the back of my head while hers, was more like a loud roar, a loud noise that was right at my side, making me feel so bothered, and I couldn't think clearly, I wanted to disappear at that exact moment, evaporate in thin air.

With a little of difficulty I glanced at Jooheon and Dahyun and they seemed normal, trying to keep up with was going on, trying to focus.

You should be doing the same, Eunbi

But it's so hard...

I know she haven't do anything to me but I felt so hurt, so dejected, so glum, it's like my mind was telling me I have lost whatever chance I might have in the future with him and I really disliked that idea so much, so much.

I took a deep breath and glanced next to Jackson. The usually loud, mischievous, funny, smiling and enthusiastic Jackson that I know was completely shut down, it was like he wasn't there anymore, like he hadn't recovered for the evident shock he had when he saw her.

Her...

And it really hurt me. More than I could describe with words.

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You might think I was overreacting but I felt with no life since Youngji made her appearance in the filming. I had no idea how to react or what to do, so I just followed everything the MCs said. I was most of the time so quiet and serious and only laughed when it was needed. I know it seemed odd but I couldn't help it. Jooheon gave me some pats from time to time, trying to comfort me. He knew everything; he knew what happened with Youngji.

On the other hand, Hani noona was trying to cheer me up too. She also knew, not everything, but she knew Youngji was my ex-girlfriend. We never made it official, although everybody smelled something was going on in the past, especially when we were filming Roommate. We denied so many things until we realized that maybe we did felt something.

In the past, I thought we were fine, that we loved each other, and we trusted each other so much, but I was so wrong...

And now that she came back to my life, I felt so bitter and down just looking for a split moment at her. I wasn't expecting this at all...

Not when I already have someone who made my days better just by thinking about her, who made me feel in peace just by the touch of our hands, someone who made me feel at ease, giddy and nervous, all at the same time just with her presence, someone who made me feel so in love just with one gaze...