Chapter Seven
For a moment it feels like my heart has stopped. The room goes silent and neither of us take a breath. I think this is the longest moment of my life. It’s make or break and if it turns out to be break I’ll be utterly devastated.
I see Cheryl thinking, I know she is, it’s written all over her face. Probably thinking of some way to reject me.
“Kimberley...” she starts, her voice croaky. “I...I wasn’t expecting that,” she says looking slightly confused.
“Oh... sorry, but I had to say something I can’t keep it in any longer,” I say fighting back tears.
“It’s okay, don’t be sorry for telling me, I’m glad you did. This just complicates everything though,” she sighs.
Complicates? Does that mean that she like me too? Even if she does she doesn’t love me or does she? I have having too many thoughts in my head and I desperately try to ignore them.
“Complicated?” I simply say.
Cheryl shifts on the sofa so that she’s turned to face me, one leg bent of the sofa and the other dangling over the edge.
“I know we’ve never talked about what happened, but I think we should. It’s about time we do... I think,”
“Yes, we should really,” I say bowing my head.
There was another momentary silence while Cheryl thinks of what to say.
“I didn’t know you loved me? Did you back then too?” she asks.
I love up at her teary eyes, and sigh. Her face is picture perfect, she’s stunning but at this moment she looks so innocent like whatever I say may crush her and that scares me a little. Having someone’s feeling so much in my hands.
“I did love you. I’ve always loved you. I hoped you’d have realised that,” I say as an unwanted tear rolls down my cheek.
“I didn’t know that,” she says simply and lifts her hand up to my face and gently wipes away the tear.
I sniff embarrassingly loudly as I desperately try to hold myself together.
“I’m sorry, I really am Kim. You meant so much to me, you still do and now after what you’ve told me I feel utterly confused. I think I loved you too; I was just too scared to admit it to myself let alone anyone else and what happened that night I didn’t...”
“Cheryl you don’t need to explain yourself it’s okay,” I sigh.
“No I do,” she says firmly “I was totally drunk but I still remember it as if I were sober. I didn’t want to kiss him at all and I just got confused. I really didn’t want that to happen. And what I said when we got back that was crap I know. I was just all panicked and I’m really sorry. I’ve never liked anyone as much as you before, you’re special and I didn’t want to lose you but turns out I did and I will never forgive myself and now we hardly ever speak. I’ve ruined everything,”
Cheryl suddenly bursts into tears. I hate seeing her like that and shuffle straight over to her and take her into my arms. I know I should be feeling sad but at that moment all I can think about is how nice it feels to have Cheryl back in my arms. I feel terrible for thinking it, she’s no longer mine and I’m definitely partly to blame for that; me and my big mouth
TBC..
