Chapter Eight
As I sit and hold her my heart beats wildly, and I hope she can’t feel it. After a while her sobs start to lessen and she lifts her head and looks me in the eyes. Her face only inches away from mine I feel like I can’t breathe.
The urge to kiss her is so great in my mind I desperately fight with myself not to act on it.
“Kiss me,” she says almost reading my thoughts.
I can’t move, my brain just stops. As much as I want to kiss her, it’s too much too fast. She has a girlfriend how would she feel? I don’t like Natalie but when Cheryl kissed the guy in the night club that hurt so badly, I don’t want to make someone feel that way.
I still haven’t moved and Cheryl looks at me confused. She’d obviously expected for me to jump on this chance but I wasn’t doing so and she looked strangely at me.
“I..I’ve got to go,” I say and push myself off the sofa and stand.
“What’s wrong?” she says looking distressed. “Have I messed everything up again?” she says and begins sobbing.
“No, Cheryl, you’ll always be my friend,” I say even though I wish I didn’t have to say these words, I want to be more than friends but I don’t agree with cheating.
“Friend? Is that all? You don’t want more, ever?” she says her mouth quivering and her eyes wide, brimming with more tears.
“I always want more Cheryl, that’s not a question. It’s you that needs to know what you want. And until then I can’t do this,” I say and walk over to the door.
“I always want you, you’re the one that left me!” she says as she follows behind me.
“Yes I did, but you’re the one that’s moved on,” and with that I left.
I waited until I was home to break down. I headed straight for bed and curled up under the sheets and cried myself to sleep.
...
I awoke and looked at the clock next to my bed- 4.14pm. It seemed I had slept for a few hours. My face felt numb and strange due to all the tears that had poured down them but I felt somewhat refreshed.
I didn’t feel the need to cry anymore and I had told Cheryl what I needed too, the ball was now in her court not mine.
I stood up and went down stairs, I was starving and I knew just what I fancied...chocolate! I raided the chocolate pot and found a dairy milk bar, I went over to the sofa and plonked myself down. I grabbed my hand bag off the table and pulled out my phone to check for messages. There was one, it was from Cheryl.
I sigh and open the message.
Babe, please. I love you come back.
I can honestly say I didn’t know exactly what she meant. Did she mean back to the house or back to being her girlfriend? Oh well I’d find out soon enough as tomorrow the band has to get together for a meeting and I’d have to face her one way or the other.
TBC...
