Too Many sorry's

Part 25

What to do he says "well are you going to come in?" "yeah" I say sniffling and stitting on his bed he sat. By my side wiping his tears and just staring at me..I gave him a hug and cried on his cheast...he hugged me back tighter then ever..."I'm sorry this time..you don't have to be sorry..you desreve the universe I'm only a star..I know you never ment to hurt me" I say hugging him

"Cali..." he says pulling me off of him "you should be the last one to apologize you did nothing wrong...your actions was caused by me and my stupidty...and you had the right to act everyway you did..."
"Then why did you do it?!huh? Honestly...I'm not sure if I should keep holding on or let go because it's so stupid to hold on to something that keeps hurting me. But it's also stupid to let go something I've always wanted" I say standing up away from him rubbing my arm crying again...
"Your not the only one in pain cali! "He says standing up "I may act like I don't care sometimes but it's killing me inside! Your not the only one with regrets!your. It the only one wishing to do better! Trust me I know! I would say I'm okay but I'm done lying! I am not okay! I am not okay with me look long at myself in the mirror with tears streaming my face asking and begging myself to stay strong..I'm not okay with me thinking that you don't love me! I'm not okay with you feeling bad for me!the biggest communacation problem we have is that we dont listen to understand we listen to reply..I do t think you really know how much this is hurting me..I don't think you can stop thinking about you for one second...and think about me?!"

"Think about me? Babe that's what I try to do I think about you too much!but I love you too Damn much to stop ! My heart races thinking about you just hearing your voice makes my heart skip a best and me just thinking that I want this to end makes me sad..because.. I know deep down I don't...What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry".I cry out "sorry for putting you through everything..I'm sorry for meeting you..I'm sorry for talking to you..I'm sorry for loving you as much as I do..I'm sorry about..every single thing I've done to make you love me more"I say as my voice cracks.."I'll go sleep in Lucas room tonight..okay?" I say hearing to the door

"What?! No..your not leaving me" he says pulling me back to him.. Looking into my eyes and kissing me..."i love you too much to let you leave me that easily or at all" he says hugging me..
"What Marcus? I'm trying to figure this out..I'm not leaving you-well I am but not like that.." I say confused.. "Figure it out in my bed..with me in my arms not leaving me at all.." he says hugging me and kissing my cheek "Marcus! Stop