On This Death Bed

Chapter 6

Kira's POV

        It's been 4 days since Ashton died, and I really don't know what to do anymore she was my rock. Today was the day I was dreading the most. The funeral. Ashton had told me she wanted me to talk at her funeral, but I didn't know what to say. I want it to come from the heart so it doesn't seem rehearse. I'm going to do what Ashton always did. Wing it.

        I put on the black dress Ashton said I made look beautiful. I loved the way she said it didn't make me look beautiful because I did that myself so I made it look beautiful. I smiled at that thought. 

        The funeral home was silent with sorrow. I had an uneasy feeling as I walked into the room with the casket. Ashton looked as peaceful as always laying there in the dress we had picked out together more than a year ago. She knew she was going to die soon so she asked her mom if she could pick out a dress for her funeral. It was a simple black dress that went down to her knees with a nice floral pattern from the waist up. I sighed at the thought. Ashton always knew what was going to happen she never tried to sugarcoat it. She was the only one that didn't. I kept telling her it's okay, but I suppose I was just saying that to myself. When Ashton told me it would be okay she wasn't telling me that she would be okay. She was telling me that I would be okay after she was gone. I suppose she was right. She always was. She learned more in her short 14 years than I ever would in a average lifespan. 

        The preacher started in prayer. I recognized it because it was the one Ashton told me about. It was the first prayer her mom said with her. I knew Ashton wasn't religious just like me, but I knew she found comfort in praying with her mom. It was there special little bond they had. They weren't very close from what I could tell and Ashton only really talked about her when she was telling me about their prayers. It was weird to me that she never said anything else bout her mom except that, but I suppose she wanted to know where she was going just in case.

        Her mom finished talking about their time together and how she loved her, and that if she had another chance she wouldn't do it any differently. She told about her final days that even when the cancer had slowly reacher her brain that she was still her, and that is was good that she died her and not someone eat up with cancer. Well not in those exact words, but that meaning. After she sat down I knew it was my turn next. After the preacher thanked her saying that her words were beautiful. He then called me up.

        I stood up and made my way to the podium. Before I even got a word out a man sitting in the back pew alone caught my eye. It was her father. I wanted to go back there and speak, and give him the letter Ashton had me write, but I knew I had to get though this first. So I began the long sorrowful speech.

        "I met Ashton the first day of kindergarten she was sitting alone in the back reading the book The Giving Tree at the time I didn't know how read, but the book looked interesting so I walked over and asked her to read it to me. She put the book down and looked up at me. Without a word she flipped to the front of the book and started Once there was a tree... That was the first words that started our friendship. After that everyday when I came into the room she would grab a book and wait. She though me to read that way and after I didn't need her to read with me we started reading alone then we would talk about it. that was our daily routine. We didn't have any other friends because Ashton was fine being alone and excepted me. I didn't have any other friends because Ashton set the bar pretty high.

        I remember the day Ashton was diagnosed with cancer. She called on the phone and the first words she said was i'm dying. I thought nothing of it because she said that quiet often like from the moment we are born we start our slow walk to death- Unknown. She quoted that to remind us that life is short so live. So I responded aren't we all, but this time she responded with Yes but i'm walking faster towards death than most.  She went on to explain that she had cancer and that she would die before reaching 18. Which she proved to me the other day.

        In her final days I when over to her house every day after school to listen to her talk. She admitted to me she was scared of dying. After 4 years of being strong and fighting cancer she finally broke because she knew the end was near and she didn't want to lie to us anymore she didn't want to lie to herself anymore.

        She said in her final days "You don't die because of old age or disease you die because their is no reason for you to live. Not because you're worthless but because your life's story is over. Some books are great because they ended at the right moment before they turned to crap, and my story is beautiful so it's wrapping up. It may not be the happy ending we dream of from such a young age, but it's mine and it's beautiful."

        And her story was beautiful and I know that my story will never be as beautiful as her because it's her and Ashton was a beautiful like her story, but I hope knowing her will make a part of my story beautiful. Thank you"