On This Death Bed

Chapter 10

       The next thing I know i'm in a room that's all white it's one that you see in movies. I'm not sure where I am and there's no one around to ask. I started to have a panic attack, but before I can a flash of light suddenly appears and their is another person here. I recognize her immediately as Ashton. She was different from the last time I had seen her moments before her passing. She had her shoulder length balk hair, her cherry red lips, her beautiful smile. She actually looked happy

        "What are you doing here" I questioned to the mysterious girl that was once my best friend.

        "Oh Kira I miss" she replied in her sweet voice. 

        "I miss you too" I replied while stepping froward.

        "I see you're stuck on what to write; now I don't have much time so here do something I always did, wing it and talk from the heart it's more genuine that way." She told right before she disappeared.

        I awoke on my bed alone in my dark room. I fell back onto my bed and lend closer to the clock to see it read 4:56 am. It was to early to actually get up and I knew it was going to be a nightmare to try to get back to sleep, but if I didn't try I would hate my self in the morning like I already did most of the time just for a different reason. 

        After about half an hour of "trying" I gave up and went over to my desk and started up my computer. The word document that I tried to start writing on was still blank with the little line blinking as if saying that's it;s ready to start writing. It seemed to be mocking me at first, but then I remembered what Ashton said, and suddenly that little line became Ashton's voice and it had so much to say, but would never be able to without me.

        Now I just have to figure out what it wanted me to write. The words Ashton said to me in her final days ran through my head like a train; they just kept coming and I didn't want them to stop. It was like I could hear her voice in my head. I couldn't tell if I was just remembering everything really well or if I was going crazy and just hearing voices in my head now. I suppose it wouldn't be that strange if I was going crazy with everything that has happened recently. 

        Memories of Ashton ran through my mind. I remember when Ashton's hair started falling out due to the chemo therapy she was having to go through. I think that's when it finally hit her that she had cancer and that she was dying. A week later she shaved her head because she said it looked better completely bold rather than patches of hair missing all over her head. She was right it did look better like that. I could tell the longer things went on the more things sat in the more depressed she became, but she didn't live long after that so she never really lost her self. Even as the cancer infested her brain she never let it touch her mind.

        She wasn't the smartest person I ever met she had a lot of trouble in school she never got the best grades and she knew that, but she always tried her best. She may not have been the smartest person I knew, but she was defiantly the wisest person I knew. Even though she was just 14. I guess dying does that to you. It makes you grow up and relies that not everything works out for the best. It's sad that she had to learn that at such a young age.

        Ashton once said to me that she knows its just as hard on me as it is for her. At the time I didn't think much of it except trying to comfort me, but now that I actually think about it it was hard watching my best friend suffer in pain. As she was losing her life it was very upsetting and not just to me but to everyone around her. It was physically hurting her but mental hurting us, well it was also taking a mental toll on her too I suppose. 

        I remember when Ashton's dad walked out on her and her mom. I think that was one of the worse things that happened to her, well besides the cancer. I don't think Ashton's parents are ever going to get back together Haley is still pretty bitter about Ed walking out on Ashton in her final months when death was inevitable. I can see why he did it, but it differently was a jerk move. I think thats when Ashton started pushing people away to make it easier on them when she died little did she know that it would make it much harder on us. 

Then it hit me this isn't going to be my voice it was going to be hers. So I started her story as if it was my own.

"I remember the day like it was yesterday. I remember siting in the backseat of my mother's car ,looking at all the pretty fall colors, on the way to the doctor for a check up. I remember the doctor coming back into the room after the test results came back and telling my mother that I had cancer and I wouldn't live to see 18. Over all I remember all the times people lied to me, and said I would be okay; when I knew that I wasn't going to be okay. I had excepted my faith, but no one else seemed to be able, so I had to stay strong for myself because I couldn't count on anyone." I say while laying in bed looking at the ceiling while all Kira could do is sit by me listening to me raddle off my mind to her.