Life

Chapter 12

I've missed him holding me tight. The thunder crackles louder and the flashing from the lightening gets brighter. I know I shouldn't be afraid but I am. I bury my face in his chest still while we're on the floor. I think we should stay on the bed together but I really love the spot that I'm in. We may argue but my love for him will never change.

I cover my ears as Hunter holds me tight.

"It's going to be alright. Let's get on the bed. My back is starting to hurt."

I don't say a word when I roll off him. Hunter wraps the blanket around me and carries me. Just as he places me on the bed, he kisses my forehead.

"I know you're still mad at me. I'm sorry. I'm going to get us some water and food and flashlights in case the power goes out."

Without even looking at him, I nod and he leaves the room. I curl up in a ball thinking to myself how I managed to get through things like this.

Hunter is back with everything while I'm still in a ball.

"Hunter?" I begin. "I'm sorry. I.." He cuts me off by pressing his gentle lips against mine. How long has it been since we last kissed? Since the last time we made love? I'm just glad that it's him. I don't think I would manage being without Hunter. He stops for a moment to set everything on the nightstand. I get off the bed and face Hunter. I gently push him down on the bed and climb on top of him.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to make love and I thought you felt the same way."

"No, I'm sorry. I had no intentions of making love right now."

I get off of him and lay on my side. I want to forget everything that had just happened, but I can't. My hormones are going crazy. When he kisses me, that's when I can't control myself. He gets me like this and it's hard to control. I want to make love.

I hate those moments where one person wants to do something but the other doesn't. It's driving me insane, but then again I don't wanna force him. If I can't control my life, I can't control time. I can't control his life either. So forcing him isn't the way to make love.

As much as I want him to touch me, I hold back as much as I can.

"Azalea, I know you want to do it, but I'm not sure if now is a good time. We just had an argument and I know we're still mad at each other. Having sex won't solve it."

I hate the words that fall out of his mouth. I'm trying not to cry but it's hard. The pain is increasing in my chest where everything might fall to pieces. I slowly breath in and out to hold back. Instead, I get up and walk into the living room. My thoughts ramble around wondering how things will work out. I hate to admit this but he is right. We just had an argument and making love won't work to make up for it. We just need some time to ourselves. It's better that way.

I'm proud of myself. I didn't cry and I'm overthinking everything once again. So much stress piling up and it's killing me slowly. I hear Hunter walking over and he sits right next to me on the couch. I get up but Hunter grabs my arm and pulls me down to sit.

"I wanna talk things through. I know the argument we had is starting to sound ridiculous but we need to settle this now or neither of us will move past this."

I nod.

"I didn't mean to get drunk let alone hurt you. I know, I feel like shit when it comes to stealing your virginity. It's normal. But what I said when I was drunk, I didn't know what to think. I didn't mean to say what I said. I know I'm a dick. I don't know how to control myself around you. I say things I don't mean. We all get that way sometimes. I'm really sorry."