Unconditional (Book Two)

28. Not to Expect

Amelie's POV

"...Jim's."

I sit desperately in the bathroom's cold floor with five positive pregnancy tests surrounding me. My golden iPhone fixed against my ear, and Mayim's voice sounding high-pitched into my brain.

"AMELIE!" she exclaims. "OH MY—"

"Mayim....this is not as good as you think," I cut her off with an obvious preoccupation echoing in my voice. I bring my knees up to my chest, and bury my face in them, feeling the soft fabric of my pajama pants against the skin of my face.

"But, Amelie...aren't you happy?" I can sense the apparent puzzlement in her voice with my clearly unexpected statement.

I stay a moment in silence, drowned in what is a certain shock at the thought of my best friend confused at something that is definitely conspicuous, even when my speech doesn't express it. "Mayim...of course I am. If you could see the SMILE that I have on my face right now....I must look like an idiot."

"Then why are you crying?"

With all the things in my head, I hadn't even realized the amount of tears that are pouring down my face. It is obvious that I am wearing a smile on my face, that my heart is full of joy; but I still can't help but feel—not a certain—but unexplainable amount of mixed emotions.

".......because I am scared," I finally reply, almost in a whisper. "I am very very scared for Jim and for our baby." I place my left hand on top of my still flat stomach, looking down. "Just imagine what Colin will do when he finds out the child is Jim's." I retract a sob, fighting the disturbing images in my head.

"Amelie....sorry for asking you this but...how do you even know that the baby isn't Colin's?"

A chill runs through my spine as she speaks these words. "Because Colin can't have kids, Mayim."

"What?!" It takes her a moment to reply.

"Like you heard it."

"But...since when?! How do you know?" she inquires in shocked voice.

"When I still believed that Colin was my husband," I narrate with a small eye roll. "We once talked about having kids, of course. But he told me that after I lost 'our' baby he had something—I really don't remember what crap he invented—and he couldn't have kids anymore." I finish with a small sigh.

"And...he's not lying?"

"Ohh no, girl. I'm no idiot," I continue with a small chuckle. "Of course that once I remembered Jim and all, I went to check that he wasn't lying so that he couldn't trap me with something like this. And he was saying the truth."

A small, weak smiles grows in my face at the thought of our child growing inside me. But as soon as I recall that Jim isn't the one arriving home by my side tomorrow, I can't help but feel my heart drop at the thought.

"Amelie, you have no idea how HAPPY I am right now," speaks Mayim, breaking the sudden silence. "But you should really call Jim and let him know."

"I can't, Mayim." I shake my head. "At least not yet. Not until I figure out what the heck I'm going to do with Colin. Because remember what he said would happen if I told Jim who he really is."

"Uhh...yeah," she says in a low volume, and holding back a little.

"I first need to find a way to fool Colin. Then I'll have to find a way to let Jim know...not just about our baby...but about everything, absolutely everything," I say. "I'll have to be very careful with Colin and with how I'm going to explain everything to Jim. Especially when he knows nothing." I make a pause, sensing some tension on the other side of the call. "...right?"