Harambe Is Love, Harambe Is Life

Dear Diary

Ryan's Story

18th June, 2016

Dear Diary,

A few days ago I started noticing very thick black hair growing all over my body. It's almost like fur. My Mother and Father are worried about me. We went to see a doctor yesterday and they said they have never seen such thing in their whole lifetime. Earlier this morning I had people knocking on my door shouting my name, saying I was a creep. They were my 'friends'. At least I thought they were my friends. Could I call them that after what they said? No. I'll just say I don't have what people call 'friends'.

Anyway, I also have noticed my arms increasing in size. The girth has grown so much in the past week. I don't know what's going on. To be honest I feel like I'm turning into a Gorilla

LMAO

No. I wish I was turning into a Gorilla. Ever since I saw Harambe on TV and heard his story it was like love at first sight. He looked so strong and muscular... I wish I could just caress his arms and chest all day. OK, this is just weird.

What am I doing with my life?

21st June, 2016

Dear Diary,

At school today I got into a fight. The boys in my P.E. class were laughing at my body when I was getting changed. They were as they would say 'Chattin' bare shit'. "He looks like that Harimbo gorilla dude!" one of them said. How dare they insult Harambe by saying his name wrong? I walked up to them in anger, one of them pushed me into the wall and straight away I just started loosing my shit. I threw a few hits at this one kid. The one that said Harambe's name incorrectly. He just fell to the floor. I could have sworn he had died but he was only unconscious. The others just looked at me in awe and ran off to go tell a teacher, the pussies. I then got given an after school detention for literally nothing. I swear one day I'm going to kill those kids.

I seriously think I am turning into a Gorilla. My skin has darkened quite a fair amount. My body is basically covered in fur and I can't stop eating the god damn bananas.

Eh, maybe this is all just a dream. Wait, If this is a dream then anything can happen! I bet Harambe will just come knocking on my door with a basket full of bananas. He will be holding the basket effortlessly with his huge arms and then I will run up to him and kiss him on the cheek. I think I'm going to wait for a minute.

Nope. Nothing.

This isn't a dream.

This is pretty fucking real.