Reason To Fight

Chapter 2

“The food was actually pretty good.” I say, as I neatly clean up any mess we might have caused.

“Yeah, but when it comes to you anything edible is pretty good,” Lauren jokes, and it brings a smile to my face, “But I feel like throwing up; I ate way too much.”

Just as she was about to stand up and take her trash to the garbage can, I jump to my feet, and take the things from her, “I’ll take it.” I avoid eye contact, as I throw everything in the garbage can nearer to where I was sitting.

“T-thanks, Camz.” She sweetly smiles at me, and I could feel my cheeks slightly reddening.

“Of course.” I sit back beside her, as a silence too perplexing to suppose whether it was comfortable or not forms between us.

I eye two or three birds roaming around each other, undecidedly swapping between flying and staying on the pavement. In a way, they reminded me of myself, how in doubt I am about everything I choose to do or say, especially when it came to Lauren.

I could feel Lauren’s presence beside me, and somehow it both angers me and takes my breath away in chorus, as I don’t do anything about it. Every moment spent with her forces me to forget how to breathe; yet it’s still so hard. It’s still hard because I know I can’t have her. It’s hard because I want her, but I won’t get her. And staying around her didn’t help me forget that little fact, but if I’m not around her, I miss her. How am I supposed to live with that? How am I supposed to live when it’s hard to stay around my band mate and best friend, but I can’t stand being away from her either?

“Ally just texted me,” Lauren breaks the silence and pulls me out of my trance. I turn my head to her, watching the way the light of her phone reflects on her face.

“I don’t wanna leave.” I admit.

“Neither do I.”

“So…?” I bite my lip, worrying myself for absolutely no reason. It’s not like this was the last time I’d ever see Lauren. We’d go back together and we’d be around the other girls together, but we just won’t be in the same room, and that’s fine, but I want this moment with her to be endless because I wish it was just me and her. Her and I, me and her, forever. Unfortunately, I can’t always get what – or who – I want.

“So… we don’t.” She lightly smiles, and hooks her arm with mine. I feel her head lay gently upon my shoulder.

I smile to myself, before softly pressing a light kiss on the top of Lauren’s head. My stomach was in a continuous feud, screaming and shouting. I wanted nothing and no one but her. I wanted to be anywhere but somewhere without her. I needed her and I needed her only.

“Sing to me, Camz.” Lauren suddenly says.

I laugh, until I realize she’s almost dead serious. “Sing? Me?”

“No, the pole next to you. Yes, you! Please.” She pleads, her head never losing contact with my shoulder.

When it came to Lauren, she could have told me to jump off a cliff or cut off my arm, and I would have. It was like I was absolutely sired to her, at her every command, because like I’d said before, the remote to control my brain and heart is right in her hands.

“What do you want me to sing?” I ask, and I could feel her beaming.

“The first song that comes to your mind. Like, the last song you listened to or something.”

I think back to what I was listening earlier in the car. I smile to myself at the song’s relevance. “Okay.” I cough before I continue.

“I’d give up forever to touch you,