Do I Wanna Know

Chapter 12

„Lauren…Lauren, wake up.“

I felt someone nudging me lightly as I started rubbing my eyes sleepily. Opening them slowly I recognized Sofi.

“I have to get to school and you have to drive me”, she explained and I needed a few more seconds until I was ready to say anything.

“Ok, I’ll be down in a second”, I said and watched the teenage girl leave my bedroom.

I sighed deeply and yawned one last time before I got up. All that late-night thinking had taken whatever time I had to sleep but I still hadn’t made up my mind entirely about whether or not I should stay in Miami. My gut told me to stay, as well as my heart; but my stupid brain would interject every time with very reasonable arguments to continue the way I have been working. I was at the peak of my career and taking a break now could be the dumbest decision I ever made. No one stopped at the high point of their career; that would be insane, right?

Remembering what had happened the day before made me skeptical. What if I got diagnosed with anything tomorrow? Would I be able to say that I have lived happy and fulfilled life? Deep down, I knew that I haven’t been happy in a long time; until Camila had shown up at my concert. Ever since then my world had been rocked immensely but she had also brought a lot of light in my life. No matter how complicated things had been lately, I couldn’t deny that the brown eyed woman made me happier than anyone else.

And with that my decision was made. Getting out of bed, I put on some casual clothes and prepared myself for dropping off Sofi at school. I caught up with the sixteen-year-old in the kitchen and noticed her wearing my clothes. Of course I didn’t mind. I had told her last night she could take whatever she wanted from my closet and she looked great. Unfortunately there was still nothing in my fridge but I told her we would get something to eat on our way.

“Are you sure you want to go to school? I’m sure your teachers would understand if you wanted to be in the hospital”, I said softly when we were in the car.

“No, I have a big test today and I’ve been studying all week so I don’t want to miss it. And besides, I don’t mind the distraction”, the younger one said and made me nod lightly.

“You seem very…collected, though. More collected than Camila even yesterday”, I noticed.

“I kind of saw it coming”, she confessed and made me look at her surprised now. “My mom lost a lot weight lately and I saw her several times taking all kinds of medication. And like I said, I like analyzing people; she didn’t make any long term plans anymore like vacations with friends. She was a lot more appreciative of anyone and anything…I don’t know. I feel like, I have kind of prepared myself almost subconsciously.”

The maturity of her was absolutely astonishing and I placed my hand gently on her knee to comfort her.

“How do you think Camila’s going to deal with this?”, I asked carefully.

“She’ll be in denial”, Sofi answered immediately. “She’ll keep herself busy so she won’t have to think about it. It’s her coping mechanism…kinda like you”, she added and made shake my head in disbelief of how smart and perceptive she was.

“Can you…maybe get out of the car just for a couple of seconds so everyone can see that you dropped me off?”, the younger one said more shyly now as I parked in front of her school. “You have no idea what that would do for my popularity!”

Without another word I got out of the car and walked to her side of the car, pulling her into a big hug. I could feel all the other students look at us and heard some of them squeal my name. As I pulled away from our hug, I took off the beanie I wore and put it on her head.