Do I Wanna Know

Chapter 43

Ever since I had told my parents about my illness, I felt like there was this weight lifted off my shoulders. Up until that point I hadn’t even known how much it had affected me to keep my health issues a secret. Maybe there were upset now but Camila kept telling me that I had made the right decision in finally coming clean about everything.

My parents, Taylor and Chris had all come to New York a little earlier than originally planned because Camila and I wanted to get married this weekend. We had applied for a Marriage License very quickly and thanks to my celebrity status and a few contacts, I was able to get the desired papers a lot faster than others. Without the license there was no way we could get married but we pulled it off even though it might have been unfair to use my connections. But I was selfish and wanted to marry the woman of my dreams as soon as I possibly could.

Our official date was set and we would get married tomorrow afternoon, on the last Friday before Christmas.

Weirdly enough, I wasn’t feeling too nervous yet. It was probably a little too soon and I would be a mess tomorrow but the atmosphere at the moment was nothing short of perfect. My family had come in yesterday and I had to admit that I was overjoyed to see them. I had a tendency to forget how incredible it was to be around the people I loved most, even when I felt like I was being a burden to them. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, though. They were relieved to see me up and walking and not dying somewhere in a hospital bed like my father had feared. Naturally, I noticed their concern still. But it wasn’t to a point where I felt guilty about telling them. It had been the right choice.

My own spirits were a lot higher than usual as well. I was able to feed off the energy my family was giving me. Not just my own but also Camila’s. Her father and Sofi had flown out to New York to be part of our wedding day although I was adamant about not making it a big deal; much to my mother’s disappointment. Thankfully she had accepted the idea of Camila and I just getting married at city hall very simply and then having dinner to celebrate.

I remembered the conversation from last night. Our entire families had been sitting around the table for dinner when my mother, Taylor and Sofi tried convincing us to have a bigger wedding. At that point I had told them multiple times that I didn’t need something fancy because I cared more about being married than getting married. I had opened up about another reason that I hadn’t shared with anyone. A part of me didn’t want a big ceremony because I frankly didn’t like the way I looked right now. Maybe I was being vain but my outer appearance would not be an accurate representation of what I felt on the inside that day. I didn’t want to look back at our wedding pictures and always be reminded of how miserable I had been feeling physically. Emotionally, I was more in love than I had probably ever been. And I wanted to glow on every single picture so my happiness would forever be captured on that special day. But how could I glow when I was as pale as ghost and thin as a rail?

Everyone at the table had become silent when I had explained my further reasoning and I recalled Camila squeezing my hand in my lap. We were able to compromise. Instead of having a big wedding, we planned on having a big first year anniversary party. One year was a lot of time for me to recuperate and hopefully be back to my old self. And my mother had enough time to plan whatever her heart desired.

There was only person missing before the big day tomorrow: Ally.

I was not nervous about my wedding but I was extremely nervous about seeing my former group member. She had been very upset when I had called her to inform her about my illness. Of course, she was happy hearing about the wedding part and her invitation but I knew she was hurt being the last one to find out. I wanted to make it up to her because I felt horrible. Never would I ever want her to feel like an outsider because Normani and I or Dinah and Camila seemed closer. That feeling of being the odd one out was something I was pretty familiar with and I wouldn’t wish that anyone; especially not my good-hearted friend.