Do I Wanna Know

Chapter 18

Feeling the cold water pattering down my still heated skin, was the only thing that kept my mind from going back to where my dream had left of. It was scary to see what kind of an effect Camila had on me, when she wasn’t even really there. I had had dreams like that before but not in that intensity; not leaving my body in a complete frenzy, aching in all the wrong places.

I sighed deeply and got out of the shower to enter my big closet next. The variety of clothes and shoes was endless but that made it even harder to decide on anything. Usually I didn’t care that much when I was at home and wanted to hide as best as I could, so people wouldn’t recognize me everywhere I went. Wearing my biggest sweater, sunglasses and a beanie would not work for tonight, though. I tried figuring out what Camila would wear. Her style was so eclectic these days. Today she had just worn jeans and a T-Shirt but I also remembered her wearing that tight dress on her birthday. Dinner, I repeated in my head over and over again, hoping to get an inkling of what I should expect from the younger woman. It could be a trendy sushi restaurant or just a causal dinner somewhere people wouldn’t see us.

Time passed and I was still unsure what to do. I decided to call the biggest fashionista I knew: Normani. Unfortunately she didn’t pick up and I was left with the same vast amount of clothing choices as before. My frustration level was reaching an all-time high before I called the next person popping up in my head. I liked a certain amount of high tech stuff and there was a big screen even in my closet, which I could hook up to my phone, making face time just like having a web chat with the person you’re calling.

“Hey, girl!”, Dinah appeared on the screen and I was relieved that she at least picked up the phone. Her face was projected on to the big screen while I was pacing around in the closet space.

“Hey, are you busy right now?”, I asked with urgency already noticeable in my voice.

“No, I’m just chilling. What’s up?”, the younger one asked.

“I need your advice on what I should wear tonight because I’m honestly going to lose my mind. It’s dinner, that’s all I know but I have no clue where we’re going or what kind of ambiance it is going to be…I hate first dates”, I rambled without noticing.

“First date? Who is it?”

“It’s…um”, I hesitated because I had no idea whether or not I should tell her. Maybe Camila should do that since their bond was stronger than ours. “..it’s complicated.”

“Complications before the first date?”, she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s not the point!”, I almost freaked out because my nerves were killing me.

“Woah, why are trippin? I’ve never seen you that nervous just because of a date?”, Dinah noticed.

“I’m just…it’s special, ok?”, I admitted softly and looked into the camera of my phone so I was visible to her.

“Is this because you need to get laid?”, she asked and sounded serious but I just rolled my eyes. The last time we had had this discussion; it had ended with me and Camila having a mind-blowing night in Vegas. Only the memory of that night made me flustered.

“I know you’re into that meditation and…celibacy stuff but we all have some needs”, my former band mate continued.

 “Can we like, not talk about that right now”, I said agitatedly because I had just forgotten about the dream and her words were bringing back the images I tried suppressing so strongly. Of course Dinah had a point because there was obviously a reason why I had dreams like that. The past couple of months were pretty uneventful in that department.