Unsinkable Ship. (GxG)

Chapter Ten: No Control

My teeth were chattering, and my body was beginning to shut down- I was completely weak. If I could see my reflection I'd probably look blue, the ship was still going down, rather slowly, and I was floating on what I presumed was a door by myself, I couldn't move. I couldn't even think without it hurting.

My hands were like ice, my lungs were starting to hurt and I knew it wouldn't be long before I would soon join the rest of the drowned corpses in the water. I guess this is my time to die, I've never really felt the cold until now and it hit me like a thousand pins, it hurt more than being shot in the head- I was going to die painfully, alone, and cold. My eyes began to get weak, I kept fighting, but what do you do when you can't save yourself this time? What is there for me to do? I didn't want to die, but maybe I had no control over that. I just had to control my breathing. This is a pretty horrific way to go, I was already surrounded by a dozen dead people, it was haunting being in this frozen death trap alone. I closed my eyes, wishing this would be over soon. I was numb, and cold. Sometimes it's better to not feel things.

I'm such a god damn fool. I'd rather it be me than anyone else.
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My eyes opened slowly... Is this heaven? Am I alive? I sure do feel alive. I let a groan escape my lips, I was on a bench on shore. I don't remember getting here? The boat was probably at the bottom of the ocean by now. People were mourning over their loved ones-Demi... Demi has to be okay. She made it on a life boat. Hopefully I can contact her. I walked up to an official.

"Charles Neckington." I didn't recognise that name. I just needed to hear one name, one name that was so important to me. One name in particular, I need to. I needed to see her, I knew she'd be safe. Demetria deserved to live, she wasn't like the rest of those upper class jerks, she wasn't a snob and I just had to find out, If she'd made it. I got closer to the man with the clipboard.

"Demetria Devonne Lovato. Is her name on the list?" He skimmed through the names, his finger following left to fight. A thousand or more people have just died. I could have been one of them, I'm still trying to get over it, it's utterly crazy. I was hungrily hoping he'd say something.

"Lovato. She's not on the list.... I'm sorry Miss."  His eyes held sorrow, and he was wearing a apologetic expression. She had a lifeboat, she made it safety? SHE HAD A LIFEBOAT FOR DAMN SAKE! There's no way I'm going to believe anything this guy has to say. I feel like my heart has literally snapped in half- like I don't know anymore. My vision was beginning to blur that's for sure. I let the tears fall so freely, I didn't even try and stop them. I didn't need to tell them I was alive what was the point?

I walked over to the other deck, these people have no idea who I am. They probably don't even care, I'm heartbroken, but what would they know about love? They just marry whoever they want to because of company's and money, this wasn't about that- it never was.

I would give up my own life, if it meant Demi could have hers. I would do anything to see her again, and to tell her how I really feel. Do all the things together we promised, but as the tears stained my shirt, and the more my eyes stun in the brutal wind, I knew deep in my heart that she was never coming back to me, and I don't know if I was ready for that. I'd known her for a short amount of time- I knew that. I've never experienced true love, but I'm pretty sure given the circumstances this was damn close, maybe as close as I was ever going to get.

"SELENA!!!" I recognise that voice a little too well. I've never turned so fast in my entire life, I just couldn't believe who was in front of me..... I'm so glad. I stumbled forward... I was still so weak, my saviour decided to catch me just in time before my head hit the decks. I just couldn't believe they made it out alive my prayers have been answered.

"Justin!" I sobbed into him. All I've done these part coming hours were cry. I've never been a crier, but I just couldn't challenge my emotions.

"Selena... What's wrong?" He made it out alive. I've never believed in god, but I was forever thankful that this has happened.

"Justin... I lost her." I didn't want to make this all about me but it's all I thought about, I couldn't shift it from my mind. Someone I connected with so deeply, made promises to, a girl who understood me, and we both just got each other. We made love, and I was never going to forget that, I needed to grieve.

"Who?" Of course he had no idea. Like I was most of the time he drank and made friends.

"We need to talk... Urgently." I looked at the sky. I didn't want him to judge me. After all this whole relationship was frowned upon.

"You know the upper class girl, with the brown hair-"

"The one I saw you on the deck with?"

"We... Uh..."

"Alex. Believe me I saw enough to know something. I'm not gonna judge you, and I don't care what you do. Now where is she-"

"I.... I don't know." The tears almost spilled from my eyes again, I tried to blink them away I really did. I felt one fall, even my tears don't want to be inside my body. God damn it. Why can't things just go right for me?

"She's got to have made it. She's first class." I hoped that was true, but I was just fuelling my Brain with nonsense. I heard the guy, and he double checked. She didn't make it, and I'd slowly need to accept that but for now I just want to go home, and cry.