Find A Way

Chapter 10

Spending most of my time with Connor was not how I thought it would turn out. I imagined a spark finally igniting in the relationship, but instead of two steps forward in the relationship, we took three steps back. Spending this much time with him made me feel more like his friend than anything else; and besides the kissing we don’t really have a romantic relationship to speak of. I do realize he cares for me, and I do know that he loves me. I just wish I felt the same; I wish I was all in like him. But I can’t be, not with Harry always clouding my mind. And trying to distance myself from him just made it worse; made me want him more. It’s been too long since I received that call from Harry and I’d love nothing more than to hear his voice, but his voice isn’t enough. I want his hands everywhere, want them probing and exploring. All morning and afternoon I couldn’t get him out of my mind and spent the last few hours in my bed, having glass after glass of wine in an attempt to clear my head. As I layed in my pajamas I stared at the phone in my hands. I gulped down the remnants of the red liquid and dialled his number without much thought. He answered on the first ring

“Hey..” he said

“Hey.” I replied. For the past couple of days all I wanted was to spend hours of my days talking to him, hearing his voice, but now I could barely speak.

“Why’d you call?” he asked after the long silence between us

“I wanted to hear your voice..” There was no use in lying. He sighed and I imagined his large hands running over his face, maybe sitting in his office examining all his new photos. I wanted nothing more than to be there, taking his hands in mine, ridding him of all his stress.

“Ellie-”

“Can I come over?” I interrupted him; I wasn’t sure I wanted him to finish that sentence.

“Are you sure Connor would be okay with it?” I could hear the ice in his voice.

“Harry please don’t...”

“I’m sorry. I’ll pick you up, be there in a couple of minutes” Maybe he needed me as much as I so desperately needed him.We both hung up and I parted with my bed to slip on my shoes and coat.

As he promised, only about 15 minutes later he was outside my apartment. The drive to his place was filled with tension and the suffocating kind of silence.

When we entered his apartment, everything that laid heavy on my chest from before all seemed to dissolve as he wrapped his arms around me. He closed the door with one hand, keeping the other arm secured around me. We stood embracing eachother for a while, taking in each other's company. His lips pressed on the crook of my neck as my cheek rested on his shoulder and the intimate moment was enhanced by the rise and fall of both our chests’ against one another’s. His hands reached behind his back to take mine and lead me to his bedroom. Though I still had a deep ache for him, it was masked by the sheer need of just being close to him; that’s why when he laid down on his bed and pat the space next to him I made no move to make this more than what it was. I relieved myself of my shoes and coat and slid back into his arms. No words were needed, we both knew where we stood at this moment. All we needed was each other.

*Harry’s POV*

I woke up with Ellie in my arms.I checked the time and saw it was 2 a.m. Definitely too late to wake her up and take her home. I laid there for a while watching the slow rise and fall of her chest. I couldn’t believe I got to be next to her as I woke, and I had to admit, it was the best feeling in the world. This feeling was almost addictive and for a little bit I imagined this was how it was every morning for us; her hair tickling my face and her lips mere inches away from mine. Though that probably would just stay as one of my day dreams. I slowly ran my finger up and down her arm, trying to gently wake her from her peaceful sleep. Her eyes fluttered open, her brown eyes hooded and looking up at me in question.

“What time is it?” She groaned softly.

“It’s a little after 2 in the morning.” I leaned to whispered into her neck. She let out a breathy moan and ran her fingers through my hair, egging me on. I pressed my lips onto her neck, leaving a trail of kisses from her jaw to her collar bone, and back up again.

“I should get home.” She sighed snuggling into the crook of my neck.

“Mmm, no. Stay.” I pulled her against me, holding her tight.

“What if-” I didn’t let her finish her sentence, lightly placing my lips over hers.

“Please stay.” I said, lips still pressed to hers. I felt a smile grow underneath my mouth and took that as an ‘ok’ to her staying.

“We’ll wake up in a couple hours, I’ll make you breakfast…” I rambled as we slowly began drifting back to sleep.

“I’ll make you the best pancakes you’ve ever had and squeeze some fresh orange juice, served on a platter and brought to you in bed…” I continued, my eyelids becoming more and more heavy. When I began to hear her soft snores I let my eyes rest and my head lay back down on the pillow, sleep soon following.

I had woken up at about 8 in the morning to prepare breakfast for Ellie just like I promised. It was now 9:30, and I walked into the room with a tray filled with pancakes, eggs, and bacon. And of course the freshly squeezed orange juice. I placed the tray on the bed next to Ellie, and started to wake her up. When she woke, I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and smiled down at her

The sun’s rays of light illuminated the room, and encircled every inch of her body, capturing her beauty.  I was in complete awe; and I silently thanked God for allowing me to be the one to see her like this. Right now, with her hair tangled and the sun shining over her as she lay in my bed, she’s never looked more beautiful. I was at a loss for words.

           “Morning.” She sighed softly, bringing her hand up to cup my face. I leaned down and pressed a soft, lingering kiss on her delicious lips. Before we got carried away with the of each other, I pulled away and picked up the tray of food.

           “I made breakfast!” I cheered. She looked at the food being placed in front of her and bit her lip, deep in thought; then without warning, pulled me down to meet her lips in a long, lazy kiss. I smiled into to the kiss, and pulled away to let her enjoy her breakfast.

           “You’re so sweet. You didn’t have to do all this.” She began to eat her food, occasionally feeding me some pancakes or bacon. I shrugged my shoulders and continued to enjoy my morning with her.

The day passes as Ellie and I bask in the time being spent in my little bed, laughing and sharing various kissing sessions. We talk and then keep talking, finding every opportunity to touch. I try to live in this moment for as long as I can because I know soon it will end. Soon the man that has the fortune of being labeled ‘boyfriend’ by her is going to call and steal her away from me, make me wait long days and even longer nights before I can see or hear her voice again. Just as I thought, her phone rings inside her coat pocket near the dresser; the annoying ringtone blares through the speakers and around the small room. Before I know it, she’s up on her feet, rushing to her cell and immediately answering.

“Hey Connor.” she bites her upper lip. She replies with one word answers and mummbles of somethings I can’t clearly make out. One more ‘mhm’ and she’s off the phone, a grin playing on her lips.

“What?” I raise a brow.

“I have some news!” she sings, jumping back on the bed.

“And what would that be?” I question further

“You know Connor…” she runs the pad of her thumb over my bottom lip. Even with the cute gesture I am enjoying, I still cringe at his name.

“mhm...” I mumble.

“He’s going out of town. Today.” Now I’m interested.

“And what does that mean for us?” I hope it means what I think it means

“You know what it means.” she smiled brightly, climbing onto my lap.