You saved me

45

Written by ElleWasTaken
I walked through the trees, hoping to find some peace and quiet, somewhere to gather all my thoughts and process what had just happened. I collapsed by one of the trees and sat, leaning against it and started quietly sobbing to myself. I rocked back and forth, hugging my knees to my chest as I realized I had lost a member of my new family, plus someone that had taught me a valuable lesson. The despair and pain ran from me like a volcano and soon my cheeks were wet and puffy. My eyes searched for just like the slightest bit of hope in my empty surroundings but there was nothing. My face showed absolute devastation. I could feel the life leak out of myself until I felt as hollow as I probably will when I die.

I sniffed, pulling my tears back, when I smelt must in the air. It smelt familiar, but I couldn't place my finger on what it was. I smelt the air again and the smell burnt my nose and eyes. It was a dull smell at a distance, but as I saw a sheen of smoke pass me, it smelt sharp and pungent. I looked around and that was when I saw where the smoke was coming from. Sat against a tree, just like me, was Daryl. He hadn't noticed me and was crying, loudly, to himself. It was weird to see him crying his ass off like he was; I never saw him as a crying kind of man. I looked down at the ground, feeling bad for what I had done, and got up onto my feet before walking over to him. I coughed and he looked up at me.

He shuffled away from me slightly and I sighed at him. I sat down next to him and I saw him reach for his gun, but I stopped him. I took my gun out of my holster and threw it onto the ground, at least a few meters away from the both of us. I held up my hands to him and he just looked at me with uncertainty before taking another gasp of cigarette smoke. He then took his cigarette and put the end of it into his hand, turning it on the spot to extinguish it. He then threw it in front of him and looked away into the distance. I took a deep, shaky breath and looked in the same direction as he was. The sky was starting to cloud over and all around me was the barren of trees and pine, matching up with my desolate and barren feeling.

I looked to my left again, just to check on Daryl, and saw him crying again, but not as noticeable as before. I felt so helpless, but somehow knew I had to help him. I looked back at the sky as he then sighed and leaned his head back to rest it against the tree. I then did the same and we both looked up into the sky. "She's probably watching you, you know." I said softly. "So's Calvin." He looked at me and I smiled. "I can tell Beth was like family to you. If I could turn the tables, I would have gone her position for her." I chuckled. "It's stupid. There's only three people in this world I would take a bullet for and Calvin was never one of them." He looked at me with confusion and sat more upright. "I would have taken a bullet for Quinn and Beth. They're the closest people I had to family. Now there's just one left and I know I'll be gone before she is."

"Don't say that." He said. "Can't afford to lose anyone else." I nodded my head in agreement. "At least you have proper family." I looked at him, realizing that I had upset him. I tried to apologize, but he just ignored me. "I didn't care about you holding that gun to my head. I would rather be dead than living with half of them after my guts." I bit hard to hold back my feeling of crying. "I'd leave if I had somewhere else to go." I nodded my head again. "I made a promise that I wouldn't leave to go to Washington until Quinn and I found you and Beth."

You're all going?" I asked and he nodded. "Why? We have everything here that we need. What makes everyone think that it's gonna be better over there?" He shrugged his shoulders. We then sat for a few minutes in silence. I looked at the scenery around me, trying to think of happier places in my mind. The trees were a lush emerald green with flowers of every shape and form, blossoming in different colours. As I breathed in I was overwhelmed by the scent of the pine an flowers and heard birds chirping in the background. "I mean, I'm not even really an adult, but I don't want to move somewhere new for my new life. I've witnessed so much death and destruction that nothing can make it any easier for me." I picked up a stick that was lying on the floor and started stripping the bark off of it. "Beth was like the sister I never had and Dawn..." Daryl looked at me with slight anger. "I know, she was a prick, I get it...but she taught me something. She taught me to never go by first impressions and to keep what's important to you close to your heart." I pulled a strip of bark from the twig. "At least she's gone though, right? No more 'bad cop' to worry about."

He looked at me with a state of calmness and forgiveness. "Don't apologize to me." He told me. "Do something better than that."

"Like what?" I replied and he looked behind us, through the trees.

"Go back to Quinn and apoligize to her, not me." He told me and I sighed. "What? Don't you have the guts to?" I looked at him with a stern expression. "Just go."

"Do I have to?" I asked him.

""No." He said. "Not if you wanna be hated for the rest of your life." I groaned and sat upright, shuffling away from the tree. I picked up my gun and put it back in my holster before picking up my bag and brushing myself down, sweeping the dusty earth off of me. I then stopped and turned to look at Daryl.

"What are you gonna do?" I questioned him. He shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

"Dunno, might just sit here for a while."

"I know you're upset, but isn't there like another mason glass of moonshine that needs finishing off?" I joked and he just looked at me, trying to break a faint smile from his gloom. "Come on." I threw his crossbow at him and he caught it in both hands. I held out my hand for him and he looked at me with confusion. "You need to show your face as well. I'm not letting you run off like always." He grabbed my hand and I pulled him up onto his feet. I spent a few moments in silence, just looking at him as he sorted himself out. WHen he finished, he shifted his glance to me and I looked away, but then looked back again.

"What?" He asked me. I shook my head and looked down at the ground. "Come on, spill."

"Nothing, just...thank you." I said. "For understanding me and giving me a chance." He shrugged his shoulders and looked away. "You okay, Daryl?"

He groaned. "Yeah..." He muttered. "Gotta be." I placed my hands on his shoulders.

"You don't have to be okay." I said. "Look at me...I'm not okay, I'm a mess."

"You ain't a mess." He groaned.

"How do you know?" I asked. "You don't know anything about me." He looked at his shoulders and I moved my hands away from his shoulders. "Sorry." I walked away from him awkwardly and together we walked back through the trees to find Rick, Quinn and everyone else in the group.

"What you said earlier about me not knowing you..." He started to say. "What was all of that about?" I took a breath and looked at him with honestly in my eyes.

"When Quinn found me, I was with this group, they weren't the best people in the world, but they were my sanctuary." I explained. "They dealt with drugs and alcohol, so they weren't the best people to be with. Quinn held them at gunpoint and the leader held a knife to my neck. That was the last time I trusted anyone." I sighed. "Now I trust no one, I only learn from them."

"You trust me?" He asked.

"I just said, I don't trust no one." I said. "Not even Quinn at times."

Why?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders. "She's your family. You trust family." I didn't answer and we kept on walking. "I ain't mad at you, I was meant to look after you anyway. I promised Quinn I would watch over you and I didn't. I lost you, for possibly the longest time I've ever lost anyone. I'm not gonna lose anyone anymore, alright?" I nodded and he looked at me with determination. "Don't tell Rick I've been this soppy, okay?" I smiled. "He'll mock me forever about it." I chuckled and he looked at me in anger, punching my arm with force. "I mean it, girl." I held up my hands, surrendering to him.

"My lips are sealed." I replied with a smirk on my face. "What makes you think they wouldn't be?"