"Ana please go back to work," Harry's voice was raspy and even. He sat up on his elbows and tried to get cozy. "Please. The world is getting mad at me because they haven't seen your beautiful face in weeks."
"But you are going home today," I sighed putting the dress I wore the night he was admitted to this place away. I genuinely can't even remember what LA looks like outside this place. "I don't want to miss this. My mom will drive you crazy if I left you guys alone."
"Your mom?" He asked confused and I remembered that I forgot to tell him about his living arrangements.
"I just figured. I mean you can't fly yet and I didn't think you would want to call a hotel home. So I had a crew do a guest room at my moms to accommodate your needs right now," I could feel his glare as I spoke. I avoided him and stood, "since you are forcing me to work I will be home at six with take out from Little China."
He took a deep breath and grabbed my arm. "Ana," he began and I couldn't read his facial expressions. "We still haven't discussed what happened. I think we got a little carried away with all of this going on," he rambled on and on.
"Harry, it's okay. I forgive you I really do," I cupped his face with my hand but his expression didn't change. "I love you H," I said becoming worried.
He sat up throwing his legs over the edge of his bed. I could tell that this wasn't going to be good but I just didn't understand why. "I don't forgive me. I love you with all of my being but I just don't forgive me. I won't ever forgive me," his face was covered by his hands. "How can I let you forgive me? What I did was terrible," he spoke as his mother walked into the room.
"I just wanted to say bye. My flight leaves in a half hour. But what could you have done that was so terrible?" His mother asked in a teasing voice. My head dropped and I gathered my things.
"I cheated on Ana, mum. I cheated," his voice sounded like he was in confession. Like he had hoped if he said it loud enough he could forgive himself.
"I will call you later. But just know that the room at my moms is ready and waiting for you. If you don't want it fine, but just know I forgive you. And love you deeper than any mistake you could ever make H," and left the room.
I had forgotten how bright the halls were. Or how chilled outside was. It feels like ages since I have been outside the hospital. There were a few paps waiting outside, probably for Harry's discharge but I noticed flashing lights on me. I raised my arm to wave and feel the air. It's usually not this chilly in LA.
I ventured to my old bedroom where my things were still in place. My bed, dresser, and vanity all looked the same. My pictures that I left behind were still scattered on the walls. I could picture Harry sitting in the chair placed in the corner playing the guitar and Niall coaching him through. I could recall Taylor bursting through the doors with tears in her eyes as she'd tell me about her latest break up. I could even remember my dad closing the door behind him trying to explain that it was an accident. To try to justify his love for his mistress. I remembered seeing my mother cry for the very first time as she walked by the door. I remember choosing her and my father trying to convince me that Africa would be great for my soul. But I chose the strong but momentarily fragile woman I called mom. But she still didn't notice me. Unless cameras were flashing and awards were given. Not even a text to see how I was doing while my world fell apart.
I spent the day talking to radio personalities and spent time on a few podcast. It was a good time I wasn't expecting. I got to my mothers around six as I expected with food for Harry and I. I was so hungry the smell was killing me.
"H?" I said walking into the dining area where I had left a note a few of his favorite candies. Everything was still laying on the table, untouched. I set the bag of take out on the table and went upstairs. He was probably too tired or weak to roam around my mothers mansion.
"Hey H," I said opening the guest bedroom door that I had set up for him. He wasn't there. The room was still empty. The bed was still full of fluffed pillows to support his fragile body. He didn't come. I walked over to the overly comfortable looking bed and sat down on it. It felt unreal. How could he not come? Was this him choosing? He couldn't possibly think that us being apart was the logical thing to do.
<Haz where are you?> I sent the message furiously and proceeded to social media. Maybe he didn't check out yet. If he was out of the hospital surly the paps would've snapped photos.
<Harry spotted downtown LA, glad you're well champ!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
> I saw his photo plastered on my timeline. He was wearing the ripped up shirt I had stolen from him all of those months ago. My heart was sinking but somehow I couldn't give up on him. I needed him.
<I will do the show next Friday at Madison square, I know I know it's my birthday but my bash isn't until the second of December . I will need studio time booked in the city for the next four days and a flight. I will not be available during those studio days. I will need Niall, Nick, and Bruno to help finalize some of the songs. I plan on having my album done within the next two weeks> I sent to Sally. Drowning in work was the best idea I could come up with.
<and she's back ladies and gents. I'm on it> I read and smiled a bit before picking up the notebook I had laying next to his bed in case he wanted to write out his experience. If he wasn't here to write, I was and had a lot to say.
