With you

Chapter 32: Promise

Luhan pov

...1 year later...
After roughly pushing me onto the bed, Sehun gave me a smirk that told me I wasn't going back to my dorm tonight. His eyes were dark and lustful as they gazed down my body. Heat rushed to my face and the rest of my body as Sehuns lean body climbed on top of me. His strong arms caged me from either side and his right leg rested between mine. He gazed down at me, his eyelashes brushing his high cheek bones. Sehuns expression, though still dark and hungry, softened a bit. He brushed his fingers through my tangled hair.

" What did I ever do to deserve you?" I beamed at him lovingly.

"I'd ask the same thing, except that my mind is currently occupied with you so close and barely touching me." Fingering his thin shirt I brought down Sehun to me and caught his lips in a kiss. The kiss started slow, his lips warm and wet on mine. Pressing onto me more Sehun deepened the kiss, making it more hectic and aggressive. He moaned as I pressed the kiss further, biting his lip to access his mouth. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, exploring and touching all the right places. He rubbed his knee on my member and I groaned in pleasure. I traced his toned abs with my hands and he growled. One by one all item of clothing fell to the ground. Skin against skin, this felt perfect, Sehun felt perfect. In that moment nothing mattered but him. I'm not a really emotional guy, but in that moment I was wrecked. I never thought I could love him any more than I did, yet day after day more of him filled my heart. And let's be real, by Sehun having the body of a Greek god, well to say it straight I was in a euphoric heaven.
Finally after a couple rounds me and Sehun lay back and lapsed into a comfortable silence. I turned and faced him, tracing his collarbone.
" He cries almost every night you know." Sehun had a faraway look.
Who? And then I understood. We all had trouble adjusting after Kris left us, but Tao had it worst. A lot of us didn't realize that they were that close until... well after he left. No one really knows why Kris left. I guess the pressure was too much? Or maybe he just missed home. I know I did. I did hate Kris for a while after that incident. How could he be so selfish? And then I felt guilty. Guilty because I was jealous. Jealous that he could leave. The more days that pass in a country I can never call my own the more I feel even more homesick. I also can't help but feel like I could do a lot just as an individual. I love exo, really. But I don't think its for me. When Tao asked me and Lay to go with him, to quit, Lay and I both angrily told him that we would never. Lay was the only one telling the truth. Because the truth was that I was ready to leave, Tao because of a broken heart, both of us because of the burning desire to do something more. Was I bad for doing this? How could I leave Sehun? I loved a lot of things about Korea, but this isn't where I want to be. Maybe in an ideal world I would be with Sehun. But I know that love is also letting go. You can't love someone until you make sure your happy without them first. If I could tell Sehun how sorry I was a thousand times a day I would. But like Kris I would never. This is where Sehun belongs, if its without me I'll just have to be okay with that. I'll learn to be okay. I grew to love that awkward and sad little boy who loved bubble tea, that had the heart of no other and loved without holding back. The boy who matured and became better, perfect even to me. I love Sehun so much it hurts. I hesitantly ask him then.
" Sehun, what would you do if I left exo?" He put his hand over mine, serious.
" Don't ever leave me please, promise me." He looked at me earnestly, taking my words seriously. Maybe if he'd just brushed it off it would have been better, easier. Every word he said, every gesture, made me think it would be okay to stay. But it wasn't. It never would be. Love is all consuming and it's amazing, but there's also reality to face.
" I won't leave you, promise." I turned around so he wouldn't see the tears streaming down my cheeks, so he wouldn't notice my heart aching.
I'm so sorry Sehun, I'm sorry I lied.