»don't blame me

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If I ever call you, because I know I will feel the need to, don't pick up.

Never pick up.

Or else I'll have to come back to you.

And neither of us needs that.

You know what I want to say... but this time, I can't.

I won't.

Those were the words you wrote to me.

The last words you scribbled on a paper for me to read when the sun rose the next morning.

I didn't know what hurt more at the time, but today I do.

I do, because I still keep your letter near me at night.

And I think about you when my phone rings.

I think about you when my shoulder stings even the slightest bit.

Now, I drink from the bottle, because I just can't be bothered to get a glass, unlike the time when I first met you.

I look at bills and laugh because you made a fool out of me when we first met.

I can't remember what your eyes looked like before that night anymore.

You were scared for me.

I always knew, since the moment I met you, I was defenitely not the first girl you held in your arms.

But I like to believe I was the first you held in your heart.

I don't blame you for leaving for my sake.

So I'm begging you,

don't blame me.

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