<•>Expired<•>

<•>Chapter Four<•>

IV

A/N 10-31-16: So this is just going to be a filler chapter because we didn't see Carl or his group at all this episode. Don't get me wrong I loved the episode but I can't post a chapter about something that Carl and Phyre never would have seen. Oh and also, can we just take a moment and appreciate how well Shiva the Tiger was done. It was so Incredibly realistic. Anyways, sorry this chapter is short.

SOTC >•< On My Mind by Ellie Goulding
        You got yourself in a dangerous zone

I have not the slightest clue about anything else that is going to happen to us.  If we're going to survive, if Negan will die, if we'll find the rest of us.  I have not a clue, and neither does Rick or anybody else. 

We need to get Maggie to the Hilltop if we want her to survive, which we do but we can't do that without devoting the entirety of our attention towards her and I'm not sure if we can do that with all that's going on.

We have no idea where Negan went, therefor we don't know where Daryl is, I mean for all I know he could be dead right now. 

Gabriel, Tara, Enid and Heath don't know that Abraham and Glenn are dead.  They don't know what's in stores for them when we are reunited. 

Morgan and Carol are gone still, once again, for all we know they could be dead.  They could be back with the group in Alexandria.  They could be together or apart.  We don't have but a clue. 

Maggie is heartbroken, while that may an understatement it's the burning truth. We all are.  We all loved Glenn. He was fun to be around. He never failed to make me laugh when I was in a pissy mood.

<•><•><•><•><•><•><•><•><•><•><•>

Me, as well as the rest of the group, have been sedentary for the past few hours.  My knees are cradled against my chest and my head is positioned between my kneecaps.  The skin below my eyes and my cheeks are still tumescent from so much crying.  My no longer blue hair is unkempt and beginning to fall out in clumps due to the stress.  My lips are chafed from covering my mouth with my hands to keep from screaming.  My tongue is parched and needing water and my stomach is desolate, demanding food. 

I can't meet my needs.  Not with Glenn and Abraham gone.  I don't deserve the pleasure of eating, I don't deserve water, I don't deserve Chapstick, I don't to look decent, I don't deserve to be happy and I don't deserve comfort. 

Glenn and Abraham deserved that more than me and they didn't get that.  How am I still alive? I don't know.  I don't deserve to live. 

I'm rocking back and forth, humming to myself.  Completely forgetting about the nine other people around me, I start to sing. 

<•><•><•><•><•><•><•><•><•><•><•>

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
Cause you've flown away
So far away. 

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And now you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Darling I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I missed the live we shared