Burlap

31 - Nightmare

Gut wrenching screams and agonized wails permeated the thick steel door before the orderly even opened it. My knees trembled, knocking together, as my heart banged against my chest. Every instinct in my body shouted at me to run, but the thick hands leading me by the handcuffs around my wrists prevented it. I had no idea how I’d made it up so many flights of stairs in my terrified condition.

“Please,” I begged, unashamed at my lack of dignity. “Please, don’t make me go in there. Please.”

Pity, loud and clear, swam in the orderly’s eyes as he walked around me to unlock the reinforced steel door. “Doctor’s orders,” he mumbled, by way of apology.

A pained whimper squeezed between my pressed lips as I fought everything in my head screaming at me to flee, like I did during any altercation or complication I’d faced in my life. The screeching sound of rusted metal grinding against more rusted metal tainted the sound barrier between us and whatever stood on the other side of the door. The orderly shoved his keys back in his pocket and pushed me in front of him. His palm pressed against my trembling shoulder blades as he reached around me to pull open the door. One solid shove sent me sprawling across the threshold, whereupon I slammed my eyes shut in a last ditch effort to pretend it was all a demented, horrible nightmare.

“Wake up, wake up, wake up,” I whispered to myself, begging everything in the universe for it to not be real. The cuffs dropped from my wrists, and less than a second later the steel door slammed shut behind me.

I stood in the doorway, my eyelids squeezed together and my fists clenched, pleading with the fates of the world to show me that I’d somehow been drugged into a hallucination or something similar. Each breath I took wheezed in and out in short, shallow bursts as my lips mumbled plead after plead. More agonized screams erupted from further away, causing my muscles to tense and twitch. I shoved the palms of my fists against my eyes, desperate prayers dancing off my tongue in a constant stream.

You’re out in the open, Sane. Find a hiding place, Power instructed. Her voice sounded far away, as if she were muffled with a sea of cotton balls separating us. 

The joints in my fingers cracked and popped as I forced the fists they created to relax. Of course, she was right. Cowering in the open left me a target. A vulnerable, defenseless target with a bright crimson bullseye washed right over me. 

But, a target for what? Shilling? Paul? The other residents here? You’ve really done it this time, you bumbling imbecile. I’m done letting you have your way all the time. The deal is off! Get ready to be stuck behind this stupid wall forever, because as soon as I’ve gotten my strength back, you’ll never be in control again! Now move!

Yet another pathetic whimper leaked between my quivering lips. Wonderful. Not only was I in danger of only who knew what on this blasted floor, but the psycho in my head had become yet another threat. A thick mixture of frustration and hopelessness bogged down my mind, mingling with the fear and anxiety already present. My body shook and tensed even further, not sure how to react or what to do with all the emotions flying around my head.

Power’s fury snapped like a surge of fire through me. Get it together, dimwit! I won’t die because of you!

Whether from force of habit from taking orders from her for so long or shock, I didn’t know, but my back straightened, pulling my posture up properly and my hands fell to my sides. Through wide, humbly chastised eyes, I took in the sight in front of me for the first time, sucking in a deep lungful of air through my teeth as I did.

The first thing my brain registered was the pale green tint cast over the entire area. Green, the universal color of illness. Sickly, nauseating, heavy green. The walls of the long, dim hallway were halved by two colors, unlike all the other levels of Rosenton. The top half might have once been a nice eggshell color, but was now the color of day old snow sludge, while the bottom half was a dull, dirty green that I suspected was the culprit for the colored cast over the room. As far down as I could see, filth and dust blanketed over every surface while chipped paint speckled the walls, revealing the white base underneath.