Burlap

9 - Dark Paradise

My eyes opened, greeted by the dull grey of the early morning hour. Groggy and filled with hunger pangs that nearly made me double over in pain, I sat up on my bed and scrubbed the sleep from my eyes with the heels of my hands.

The black rimmed, basic clock on the wall held its stiff hands to reveal that it was barely five-thirty in the morning. Breakfast wouldn’t be for another two and a half hours. My stomach screamed in protest at the thought of waiting that long.

I sighed, resigning myself to it, before stopping and grinning like a fool.

Esther, you amazing, beautiful, kind, generous woman! Power squealed my own identical thoughts as the sight of a small plate with two wrapped roast beef sandwiches from the cafeteria filled my vision. They sat, wrapped in shiny foil, on top of my nightstand, waiting for me to devour them.

With a monstrous victory cry, my stomach leapt in excitement as I unwrapped the sandwiches and all but inhaled them both. They were bland and slightly soggy, but my gratitude to Esther for being so kind and leaving them for me overwhelmed any unsavory taste or texture my tongue touched.

As I finished them, licking the tips of my fingers for even the tiniest speck of food left behind, I stood from my bed and walked over to the small, prefabricated armiore. Surely the pile of beautiful clothes Marcie had brought me the night before was a decadent and fleeting figment of my imagination. The fact that she had bought me such nice clothing on a whim had to be a dream.

Silk, crushed velvet, lace and an entire assortment of various lovely fabrics hung from Rosenton’s cheap metal hangers on my side of the cheap little armoire. Even some delicate, feminine undergarments were folded into neat little squares below the clothing hanging above them. My cheeks flamed at the thought of another person buying me underwear, but I was too stunned to feel anything more complex than gratitude and slight embarrassment.

Maybe these people really were my friends. Maybe they were my family. Maybe I could stop second guessing them and being suspicious.

Make sure she knows I will find her and rip her out of your head by her throat, then rip that throat from her neck, if she tries to attack or hurt another member of this ward. John may be the golden boy and have reservations about hurting you, but I’m not that good of a guy. I will do worse to her than she could have ever dreamed of doing to your circus friends if she pulls another stunt like that. Whether you share a body or not. I like you, Kate, and I don’t want to hurt you because I consider you a part of this ward - this family, so it would be best if you kept that psycho locked away so I don’t have to do anything drastic, get it?

George’s words of warning echoed in my head, as if to remind me that nothing could be all sunshine and roses. They still considered me a liability - a danger to themselves. Maybe John wouldn’t hurt me, but George had told me blatantly that he would, and even Esther had put me below the other ward mates when she had warned me to not let Power get out of control. Of course, having only been at Rosenton for less than a week, when they had all known and been here with each other for years likely had something to do with that mistrust.

Shaking my head to dislodge the wandering thoughts, I pulled a soft silk dress from the hanger and grabbed my meager bag of toiletries.

A shower sounded heavenly. 

***

All during Group Therapy, George deflected each and every question from Lottie and I. His smooth voice manipulated the conversations with such ease that I began to see how he could be dangerous in a way that had nothing to do with any threat he could ever make. He was a master at the craft, often leading the conversation by the reigns and having it go precisely where he wanted. I watched his lips move with wonder, expecting some glittering magic to escape his mouth as he spoke, twirling around the air until it infiltrated and consumed the voice box and mind of the people he interacted with. How else could the young sixteen year old hold such excellent control over an entire room of people, Paul the arrogant doctor excluded.