Burlap

32 - Cellar Door

“Do it again, Kate. You’ve gotta get it perfect.” 

A frustrated rumble sounded off in my throat, and I stood, ready to try Robbie’s newest act again. The fire lighting in his eyes, coupled with the big, cheesy grin highlighting the lower half of his own sweating face, eased some of my aggravation away. Thick, wet clumps of his black hair stuck to his forehead, escaped from the ponytail he’d tied away from his face with a small strip of leather. I’d told him countless times that a regular elastic ponytail would hold much better, especially with the rigorous training, but he held to the notion that that stupid leather strip felt “authentic”, whatever that was supposed to mean, or why it was even important. 

“You can do this. I know you can,” he urged, grinning and nodding his head at me, excitement bubbling beneath the surface of his words. 

My eyes closed, and a hot, thick breath of air filled my aching lungs. Without a word, I nodded and took my position again. 

“You’ve got this,” he encouraged, stepping forward to lift me up to the horizontal metal bar. “It’s hard, but you can do it.” 

I practiced for another two hours, until the quivering in my strained muscles made any more attempts a danger to myself. Without Robbie’s constant encouragement, I would have given up hours ago. But he had a way of shining his enthusiastic light so brightly that it was impossible to tell him, “no”. 

My body slumped to the floor, a sweating, shaking mess. “You’re trying to kill me,” I accused, too exhausted to grin through my lame joke. 

“Am not,” he scoffed, dropping down beside me with a canteen of iced water. He shoved it to my mouth and I drank greedily, savoring the crisp sting as it rushed down my parched throat. “You’re just capable of so much, Kate. You may not have it down yet, but you will. And, by this time next year, you’ll have it as second nature and we’ll be working on something even more advanced.” 

I groaned, slamming my forehead into his shoulder. “That’s not helping! I don’t even want to consider anything more difficult than this right now!”

The chuckle in his chest vibrated his shoulders, bouncing my head a little. This time, I found just enough strength to smile along with him. He stood, offering me a hand up. I took it, with reluctance, and wobbled to my feet. The lengths of my legs trembled beneath me, but I made it back outside the practice tent without incident. After a quick signal to Charlotte, letting her know Robbie was ready for her to practice her routine with him, I hung my head and made my way to the lions’ cages. 

“Kate!” 

I turned, the ball of my foot grinding into the crunching dead grass beneath it. Robbie stood at the entrance of the small white practice tent, waiting for me to answer him. 

“Yeah?” I asked, praying he didn’t want me to “help” Charlotte with her routine, like last time. That had ended with an infuriated attack later that night, where the beating had been more personal, and therefore more painful. But more painful than the physical blows, had been the words that haunted me most nights recently. 

“You’re nothing!” 

“Who are you to be his teacher’s pet?!”

“You don’t deserve to breathe the same air as me, much less act like you’re better than me!” 

“What worth do you have?! None! You’re worthless!”

“You’re weak and pathetic! If you died, it’d takes months for anyone to even notice!”