Sanity

1

He wrapped his arm around me and caressed the small of my back, pulling me closer into him. He smelled of cold brew and saw dust...he had just finished work before picking me up. Man, I loved that. His nose grazed the side of my face as his lips gently crossed mine in a soft arc.

A giggle erupted from my lips as he put both hands on each side of my head, tilting my head to the right as he moved towards my left. He closed the gap. The moment was perfect. He was perfect.

He pulled back slowly, allowing his hand to caress my cheek and fingers roll over my lips. I smiled. Why could something so strange and utterly crazy be so stinking perfect?

His hair fell in front of his eyes and he flicked it back into place with out even letting go of me. I laughed and pulled him into a hug. My heart ached when we weren't together. My literal heart would almost melt at the sight of him.

Is this what love is like? It better be. I can't imagine anything better, he has to be as good as it gets.

******

Drip...Drip...A cold sensation seemed to tickle my brain. My eyes were unnaturally cold. I blinked; dry. Licked my lips; salty. Delicious. 

The cold spread to my arms and in its path left a warm tickle that made me squirm a little. It was as if my body was waking up from a long sleep. A long unnatural hibernation.

The dream or whatever it was still tickled me inside and a smile abruptly landed on my face, stretching my muscles and contracting my cheeks. I tried to think of his name but could only think of his face...that was good enough for now.

A pounding, horrible feeling began to creep into my chest and I took a sharp breath. There it was. The aftermath of thinking about this guy, of visiting those memories. Why did this happen?

It was dark still, wherever I was, and opening or closing my eyes seemed to do absolutely nothing to improve sight. I moved my toes, slightly, and the feeling was almost unnatural. The skin in-between each toe was somewhat folded or contracted. It felt flaky and just plain gross.

What is this? I thought as I tried to move my arm to reach down and scratch my foot...My arm stayed put.

"Wha-at?" I stutter. My voice is soft and raspy as if I hadn't opened my mouth in a long time and had almost forgotten how to use the common english language in spoken form. Perfect. First my heart malfunctions and betrays me and now my voice.

My arm seemed to either be stuck or somehow immobile. I tried my other arm and got the same dead, not moving, feeling. I tried to move my head and that didn't seem to happen either. Panic overtook me and my heart began to pound heavily in my chest.

I tried to blink. Opening and closing my eyes. However, that also gave me no feeling. What if...what if...

I didn't know what to think or how to even sort of put thoughts into a coherent string to make any kind of sense in my head.

The darkness slowly closed in on me, pushing on my lungs, constricting my breathing and causing me to gasp and choke on my own saliva.

It can't be that bad. The fog in my brain slowly cleared and I could still feel the boy's fingers on my dry lips. He was so beautiful. His hands, calloused and rough against my soft lips made my stomach flip.

His face began to disappear, again. Just like last time. I tried not to cry. I swallowed my tears

Suddenly I felt my finger twitch. I wiggled my pinky and forced myself to smile.

"Yes!" I screeched aloud. Slowly I moved each finger on my right hand and then continued to move the rest of the fingers on my left. My arms began to tingle, like they were waking up. Kind of like that electrifying feeling that crawls along your skin when the blood has been cut off too long.