Sanity

2

I stormed down the steps. How dare he make a decision like this without talking to me first! Was he just going to leave us all in the lurch? Leave us without a strong head to our very dysfunctional home? He couldn't do that to us. I can't take his place. I could not take on that kind of responsibility. I was the irresponsible one. 

That was the way our system worked. I act out, he punishes me, I act out and ignore mom, he takes care of mom. It all works out for the greater good! Why did he have to go and make such a selfishly, horrible decision like this!

I turned right and walked past the field where everyone was playing a weird mix of football and soccer. My neighborhood was one of the weird social ones where parents tell their kids to play outside with each other until it becomes a habit for the kids to drop all electronics and run outside to kick around a chunk of leather filled with air.

"Janice!"

I turned and saw Marcy running towards me, my best friend. Well, she called me her best friend and me, well, I just kind of went with it.

"What do you think of my new hair cut?" She bounced a curl over her shoulder and stroked her bangs in long gently brushes with her fingers.

"Gorgeous as always." She was the kind of girl that could wear anything, do anything to her hair or whatever, and still look like she was trying.  I swear, she had those genes that just make you beautiful.

She smiled and then weaved her arm around mine and began pulling me forward, luckily in the direction I was heading. She always did this. Arm around mine, throwing her hips this way and that as she described the love of her life, of that week, in painstaking detail. I learned to smile, nod, and throw in comments like: "You're perfect together" or "He must love you, who wouldn't?"

It was the girl code and it had taken me almost all of freshmen year to figure it out. I hated it, but that was how it was supposed to be, how it had to be. Girls are always so complicated and both of my brothers make sure I know that. Whenever I just so happen to make a dramatic comment that blame my "womanhood" or "girly-ness". Ugh, I hate them, but love them at the same time.

"So you've seen the new guy Marx in class right? He's so hot. We made out once or twice last week but it wasn't like as good as my last one, yah know? He really needs to work on it..." She faded off with that comment and soon began twirling her hair with her arm that was not around mine.

"Yeah, I know him. He seems...dark. He never sits with anyone at lunch. How did he score you?" I asked out of pure curiosity. This was the first time the guy she made out with wasn't a jock of some sort. This had to be some kind of joke or insane moment in history.

I found myself actually getting excited about this.

"He's okay. He helped me with a history project or whatever and he has a jaw structure to die for! His muscles are like-" Marcy stopped walking and pulled away from me, using both hands to demonstrate how big his muscles actually were. Her demonstration was kind of exaggerated.

"Yeah, no they are not that big."

"You haven't seen them close up!" She stated with a smile that said that she knew I might want to.

"Girl, I have a boyfriend!" I looked at her, seriously trying to show how good of a girlfriend I was, but she just shook her head and shrugged.

"We are way too young to try and settle down right now. We shouldn't settle down right now for one guy. We need to prove that we aren't the girls that settle easily. We seek adventure! Romance! Horribly wonderful make-out sessions!" She was on fire now spitting out these comments like a teacher trying to convince students to love writing or math...it was going nowhere.