Augustus Waters: Longer than Forever(The Fault in Our Stars)

Chapter 5

"Who wants some food?" Julie asks.

I smile at her, knowing that she just got here and it is early in the morning. She is nice enough to sacrifice her time with Gus, so we can be alone for maybe the last time.

Augustus's family reluctantly shuffles out, but with their generous hearts, they do so.

The door closes, and it is just me and Gus.

I rack my brain for something to say as I look into Augustus's blue eyes. They are too hypnotizing for me to think.

"How have you been?" Gus croaks.

"I went to the church after I visited you last." I reply.

That was mainly all I did besides going home and visiting Gus.

"Is that so?" He ponders.

"Yeah, I missed you so much, Augustus." I state, unable to hold that in much longer.

"Hazel Grace, I missed you too. If it's possible, you were the only one I was thinking about when I was unconscious."

His words melt into me, and I smile staring at his lips. I yearn to feel them once more.

Gus looks at me, reading my mind.

He leans in, and brushes his lips against mine. He is calm at first, but then becomes more passionate with the small gesture. Our lips are syncing together perfectly. His lips taste like medicine, but that reminds me that this might be our last kiss. We break apart for a breath of air to be safe with both of our troubles with cancer, and come crashing back in.

He breaks the kiss and I can tell he is having trouble breathing. I feel guilt with putting my needs in front of his when his are more important.

"Hazel Grace, I love you so much. I will love you forever and always."

"I love you too, Gus."

I don't know what I would ever do without you. My subconscious adds. I spared that thought, not wanting Gus's guilt to grow further. What Gus doesn't realize is that it's not his fault. Cancer is just fighting the same battle as Gus, and me, and everyone else diagnosed with cancer, except it's not losing. It is just fighting a way to be heard.

"Hazel Grace?" Gus questions, taking me out of my trance.

"Yes?"

"Whe- If I die, will you make me a promise?"

"Anything."

"Never forget our small infinity. And Van Houten. Don't forget the journey of the first time you visited Paris. But mostly don't forget what an ass Van Houten is."

His humor lightens me up for a second. But the nostalgic feeling of happiness quickly disappears when I realize I will be losing Gus's joking ability along with him.

"Gus, don't ever let your mind believe that I will forget you. You will always be apart of me no matter what. Even if I'm with someone else, I will still be thinking about you."

"Hazel, don't you think it's a little too early to be joking about dating other people." His voice answers with slight amusement laced into it.

"Well same goes to you, don't cheat on me with Jesus." I tease back.

"Hazel Grace, did I just hear you joke about Jesus?" He laughs silently, but ends up coughing.

As bad as it seems, I don't feel guilty for making him cough. I am thinking of myself again because I wanted- no needed to hear that laughter escape his lips once more.

My mind wanders again reminding me of memories that fill my head of Gus. I remember what Gus told me not too long ago. It would make me feel better, knowing I helped Gus gain this achievement.

"Augustus, I am going to make you be heard." I blurt.

His mouth opens to respond, but is cut off by a knock on the door. The door creaks open slowly.

"Hey," Julie enters first. "I was trying to stall them longer, but they missed Gus."

She walks in, and soon does her children, Gus's parents, and his other two sisters.

I know how they are feeling also because they have such limited time with Gus. I don't feel any slight of annoyance towards them.

"Hazel, why don't you go home to get some rest?" Augustus's kind mother asks me.

At any other time I would have obliged, but now I have something I need to do before Augustus leaves us.

"Thank you, call me with updates?" I reply.

"Of course, dear." She smiles.

I look at Augustus.

"What I said was true, you are going to be heard. Remember Augustus, I love you." I quietly mutter to Gus so no one else hears.

"Okay." He croaks.

"Okay." I timidly smile.

I leave the room and a thought nags my brain on the way to the elevator.

How the hell am I going to get Gus to leave a mark on the world?



(Hi! I've gotten a couple more messages so thank you (: It's still Christmas Eve here so I updated one day earlier!! I might update before New Years as well if I have the time to (: Fingers crossed. Anyways what do you guys think so far? Please give me feedback!! Anyways Merry Christmas (Eve) and happy soon to be 2014!!)

xx.