Lust Is Not The Word

The Talk

I started to cry harder and the words could barely come out

"Every night every since Ronnie moved in this house he has been coming into my room every night touching me and he......

I could barely get the rest out before my mom started crying out of anger.

"He raped me every single night and i just didn't know....."

She didn't let me get the rest of my words out before she started the car and sped off to the house. Her face was bloody red, her hands were shaking, and she was crying hard as hell.

We finally pulled up to the house and she immediately rushed in to confront Ronnie.

"WHY THE FUCK WAS YOU PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON MY DAUGHTER," as she started pushing him and grabbed out a pocket knife.

"I DIDNT TOUCH HER WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALLKING ABOUT?"

They argued back and forth for almost 30 minutes and he just kept denying it.

"You know what mama never mind, I think I was just tripping and had way too much to smoke and drink, I'm sorry for accusing Ronnie of doing that" I said

She quickly turns towards me . "Why the hell did you lie, don't leave your room until forever, you're on punishment".

I went into my room and cried so hard I felt as if I was going to pass out that very second. At that moment I didn't want to be alive anymore. I started to question god why the hell he put me on this earth anyways? Why did my mom have to confirm that Ronnie had been raping me every night? Shouldn't she have believe me? Why the hell would I make up such a thing?

 I called Jonathan crying.

"Hello wassup"

"Can I please come to your house for a day or two, I don't want to be in this house anymore"

"Yeah you know you can come over here any time that you want, what happened"

"Please don't make me talk about this again, I just need to drink and get it off my mind"

"You sure you want to drink?"

"I'm positive, just come get me please"

"aih ill be on my way" 

Jonathan came to my house and I rushed out the door while my Mom wasn't looking. She's blind as hell. Jonathan immediately sped off so I wouldn't get caught by my mom.

1:00 P.M.

When I got to Jonathan house his sister was the only one that was there was Jonathans sister Patricia. She was on the couch holding Joi. I quickly went over to her and she handed me my baby. I missed her so much but I couldn't allow myself to let her be there with Ronnie or with the bullshit that I was dealing with.

I hugged Joi tight and kissed her all over her face and handed her to Jonathan and went upstairs to take a nap. I was tired as hell. All I wanted was sleep, I haven't had sleep in days.

I was laying down and I could hear Jonathan downstairs talking to Joi.

"I missed you mini me, everything will all be fine, you have me and your mommy here and we're going to take care of your beautiful self, don't ever grow up baby girl" 

I felt a little relieved for some reason. My heart melted, that was just the cutest thing I have ever heard him say. He's a great father to Joi. He actually takes pride into being a father and that's one of the reasons I love him.