Somewhere in Neverland (Lashton)

Ch. 2: I Thought of Only You

"But when I looked at her,

I thought of only you.

If only there was proof I could use to show it's true."

-You Me At Six(Crash)

Luke went to the ocean sunday night. He went there whenever he needed time and space to figure things out. The blonde sat on a rock watching the waves hit against the shore. It was a rather cold night for Australia. There was a full moon and several stars spiralled across the night sky, that made Luke believe his grandma was up there, watching over him. Luke remembered all the times he had been with girls, dated them, kissed them, had sex with them. And he couldn't think of a single time that he felt anything. That he felt that spark that people dream and write and read about. But when he kissed Ashton he felt that spark. Maybe he was just drunk and under the illusion that he felt it. But he wanted to do it again, kiss him again, make love to him again and sober this time. Did that make him gay? He pondered on that for a moment, realizing that maybe he was gay. But the thing was, homosexuality wasn't exactly that easily accepted there. Sure, there were no anti gay laws that sent people away for kissing someone of the same gender, but it was still frowned upon by many. And that scared him, he had always fit in, been the popular one, had lots of friends. What would happen if he was gay? Would he still be popular or have those friends or fit it? The sad truth was, he probably wouldn't.

Ashton arrived at the school just as the late bell rang, usually he was one to be there early. In his jean pocket was Luke's lip ring. He wasn't sure if or when he was going to give it to him. Part of him just wanted to sneak it into his locker but that'd be the easy way out. He entered his first period, all the students' heads snapping towards him when he entered the room. The teacher glared at him as he took his seat in the back by Katie and Michael. Katie shot him a smile. Today, she wore jeans and a crop top. She handed him a note from under her desk. He opened it, date after tryouts? Ashton shot her a smile while he nodded his head. He liked Katie, she was nice and funny but there was no spark between them.

Luke pulled Michelle out to the commons at lunch.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked. He didn't make eye contact with her.

"I think we should break up," he told her. She looked at him in disbelief.

"Why? We're in a open relationship?" she questioned, her eyes narrowing. Luke didn't know what to say to that. It's not like he could tell her that he thinks he's gay. Or that he had sex with his best friend on friday.

"There's someone else, isn't there?" she questioned, her eyes becoming soft. He shyly nodded his head.

"Well, I wish you two the best." And then Michelle was gone. Luke entered the cafeteria, joining his friends.

"Why isn't Michelle sitting with us?" Michael asked. Michelle and Katie always sat with them at lunch. Luke glanced at Ashton, seeing that he had his arm around Katie.

"We broke up," he announced. All eyes shot to Luke's.

"Wait, she broke up with you?" Calum questioned. Luke shook his head. They all gaped at him.

"I broke up with her." Ashton and Luke shared a glance that left both of them wondering if one another remembered friday night.

"W-why?" Luke began playing with his food, his stomach felt like it was tied in knots.

"I just didn't feel anything when I was with her." He found himself sneaking glances at Ashton's eyes and getting lost in them.

"So?" Calum was utterly confused.

"Did you find someone else, Luke?" Michael asked. Luke didn't know what to say or do. So he didn't move a muscle or talk the entire rest of lunch.

Ashton found himself in the locker room five minutes early. He just sat on the bench, staring at Luke's lip ring. He wondered why Luke broke up with Michelle and if it was related to friday night. But it couldn't right? There was no way Luke remembered what happened or if he did that he didn't regret it.

"Who's is that?" Calum asked ending Ashton of his thought process. He quickly put it in his pocket and looked up at Calum.

"No ones," Ashton stated. His black haired friend peered at him, curious.

"It looked like Luke's, he mentioned that he lost one of his lip rings," he said. The brunette quickly stood up and opened his gym locker.

"It was left at the party," he stated as he pulled out his shorts and shirt.

"So, Luke did sleep with someone at the party. That's the only time he takes it off."

The boys looked up as more boys entered the locker room. The blonde boy appeared that Ashton had secretly been hoping he wouldn't see. His heart leapt everytime he saw him. Ashton quickly changed, hopelessly trying to not look at Luke as he changed. He had seen Luke change many times before, but never had he been aroused by it. Yet, he found himself staring at Luke's back remembering how it felt to have him underneath him. Luke turned around and their eyes met for a moment, both too scared to say anything. Everyone was starting to head out to the field, soon it was just Luke and him. Luke turned around to head out of the locker room but Ashton stopped him.

"Luke, wait," he nearly choked on his words. Luke turned around peering at him.

"You left your lip ring at the party," he said as he pulled out the ring. Luke just stared at him in shock, wondering if he remembered that night.

"Keep it, who knows you might end up with a piercing one day," Luke said in the joking tone he always used with Ashton. He hadn't spoken with that tone to him since the party. And that meant the world to Ashton. Luke was out the door the next time he looked up. He smiled to himself as he slide the ring in his pocket.

* * *

Ashton found himself constantly thinking of Luke while he was on his date with Katie. He kept on running his fingers over the lip ring in his pocket.

"You okay, Ash?" Katie asked. She had her hair up in a ponytail that really brought out her eyes. Any guy would be attracted to her, so why wasn't he?

"Let's get out of here," he said suggestively. She smiled as she stood up too eagerly. Ashton drove them back to his place, his sister and his brother were at a playdate. He lead her to the same room Luke lead him. The minute the door was closed behind him, they were kissing each other heatedly. But it wasn't the same. He didn't feel a thing. Ashton had her back pressed against the door as she shoved her tongue down his mouth. And he still couldn't stop thinking about Luke. How Luke tasted so much better. How Luke kissed so much better. Even as he laid himself on top of her on the bed, he thought of Luke. How Luke was thinner and taller and cuter. Even as they ripped each other's clothes off, he thought of Luke. How pale Luke's body was. How his lip ring tasted. Even as he thrusted into her, he couldn't help but to think of Luke. How it felt to thrust into the boy. How delicately perfect it was. Even as he came, he couldn't help but to think of Luke. How Luke sounded when he came. All he was thinking was Luke, Luke, Luke. And he couldn't help but to wish that it were Luke under him saying, "I love you" rather than Katie.